My Birth Plan

Month 1

*Hard to believe I ever looked like this haha!

Month 2

Still no bump!

Month 3

The last time I was able to button up my favorite shorts

Month 4

Hi Miller <3

Month 5

Month 6

the miller affect sharing her birth plan

Month 7

Month 8

I love the title of this post- ‘My Birth Plan’.

It is funny really because plans really never go accordingly and we always end up having to change decisions and direction at the very end.

Is it even worth it to make a birth plan? Would having a plan in place just make you more stressed out if something went wrong? How many of you guys just decided to wing it?

My Birth Plan

C Section VS Vaginal/Epidural VS No Epidural

All I am 100% sure of is that I want a vaginal birth and an epidural. Even though those two things could be completely out of my control. My sister had a last minute c section and I have heard so many stories about it being ‘too late’ to receive an epidural in a vaginal birth. That scares the crap out of me!! Give me all the pain meds!!

Well, basically just thinking about labor scares the crap out of me. I don’t bring it up and I have told Troy NOT to ever bring it up.

My mom went with an epidural with her first baby and then completely natural with her second two. She said back then they really didn’t know how safe or unsafe an epidural was for the baby. I have never asked her just how bad that hurt.

I am a huge baby when it comes to pain and needles and just about anything that may hurt me. I worry and worry and put it off until I absolutely HAVE to get a shot or get blood drawn and even then I am so dramatic about it. I make Troy come with me and hold my hand and distract me.

So you can see why labor is TERRIFYING. It is probably terrifying for everyone. I think it is something that causes so many pregnant women anxiety and who knows how much sleep is lost over it one you reach the final month!

I definitely have friends who said labor was the most amazing thing in the world. They loved it. I also have friends who won’t talk to me about it because of the experience they had (they don’t want to traumatize me!)

JUST DON’T GOOGLE WHAT LABOR FEELS LIKE. Google is your worst enemy there, trust me!

In the Delivery Room

I am still on the fence about who I want in there with me. Troy is also a baby when it comes to blood and will probably pass out if he watches the actual birth (so he will be up near my head the entire time!) Do I need someone down at the end coaching me along or is the dr pretty good about that?

I told my husband I wanted my mom in there with us and he thought that was ridiculous. Is it? Did you guys have your mothers with you? If so, was it a bad experience or are you glad you did? I just know Troy will be a nervous wreck and I will need someone who has been through it and can stay focused.

I will also have my sister in there photographing, which my husband also thinks is ridiculous. I think I will want those photos one day and he thinks I will never want to look at them again. Did you guys have yours photographed? Was it worth it? It is just the issue of having ANOTHER person in there with us capturing our most intimate moment ever. Let me know your thoughts!

I know most people just get all dolled up and put makeup on and do their hair and then the photographer snaps some photos. I want a real moment. I want her to get the shot when I look my absolute worst and am bawling and don’t even care because I have a baby in my arms.

Did you guys give your husband a say in who is in there with you guys? Last night when he was clearly hating all my decisions I said that he should say ‘whatever you want babe’ and then told him he isn’t the one pushing a baby out of their vagina. I know he wants it to just be us and the doctors and that makes sense and is so him. I always want to be surrounded by family. Do we compromise or am I allowed to be selfish?

Let me know what you decided for your birth plan and if you changed anything with your second or third!

I would also love to know if you had the same fears and worries and if you also struggled with the same decisions!

Soap Box

If you saw my recent Instagram Story you know some people feel my blog is inappropriate. They don’t think I should share honest opinions and feelings.

I just want to thank you guys SO MUCH for giving me the opportunity to always just be me and to be real. I treat this blog as a personal journal and would never want to pretend to be something I am not! I think the problem with blogging is when everyone pretends their lives are perfect and the people who follow them have a hard time measuring up. That isn’t good for anyone and NO ONE is perfect! Being your true self at all times will lead to a much happier, healthier life!

I know the birth plan is something all pregnant women think about and struggle with constantly! It is something that can definitely be researched but it honestly comes down to your own preference and your own needs. Don’t be scared to share your own ideas with your husband, friends, family, or in a comment below!

Love you guys!

xox Amanda

 

103 Comments

  1. Rebecca
    September 17, 2018 / 3:29 am

    So my vaginal birth was great, I got the epidural and it just felt like ( excuse the crudeness) pushing poop out. I was numb from above belly down. I had my bf up by my head ( his choice) and I decided to have my grandmother in the room. It was such a special moment to have her in there watching her first ever great grandson be born. I just thought how cool that would be to tell him when he is older that his great grandmother watched him come into this world. She was on the end of the bed to get the “best view” of him coming out. She was crying and it was truly all I could ask for. No one else was in there, just the two of them. I didn’t really need to have pictures of my maternity or birthing done. I just felt I would much rather have my focus on my family and keep that private and personal. We of course after he was born took photos of him and me, him and his dad and him with his great grandmother. But totally didn’t see a point of having photos of me pushing him out. And getting dolled up definitely also wasn’t on my radar either. I was just so happy to finally have him in my arms and have my little family.

    By no means am I bashing those who do choose to photograph the birth and get dolled up. Every person is entitled to what they want to do. It just wasnt something that was of interest to me.

    So if deep down the birthgraphs is what you dig. Go for it.

    In the end just do what will make you happiest. What you want to be your birth story. ( with of course the unpredictability that comes with it)

  2. Lauren
    September 17, 2018 / 1:36 am

    Hi,

    I have not have kids but I am a medical student dreaming of becoming an OB and have seen many births – “natural” and epidural vaginal, and C sections, both emergency and planned. The one thing I can tell you from my outsider opinion is they’re all beautiful and it’s okay to change your mind – no matter what happens, it will be beautiful and you will make the right decisions for you.

    If you want your mom there, have her there! My (extremely modest) sister in law says the delivery room is no place for modesty. You just don’t think about it. So if she will make you more comfortable, have her there. My only recommendation is to think about having a calm environment – I’ve seen some moms who had very nervous energy, which laboring moms just don’t need.

    And you’ll want the pictures! My mom still looks at hers.

    Anyway, congratulations. I’ve truly enjoyed watching your pregnancy. Can’t wait to see photos of sweet baby Miller.

  3. September 16, 2018 / 10:52 pm

    Easiest way to say it:
    1. Don’t care what anyone says. Your blog is about you and your thoughts – no one has a gun to their head to follow you or to read your posts. They don’t like it, leave.
    2. Your birth plan may or may not go as you plan. After 3 kids, what helped me the most was having an open mind and being flexible. Going into labor the first time is scary because of the unknown. Take everything one step, one contraction at a time. Believe it or not, motherly instincts kick in well before baby arrives. You will do great.
    3. My mom was in the delivery room for all three births. It’s great having your husband with you (mine stayed by my head for all three births) but there is just something comforting having your mom there. It’s just a different type of comfort. Mom always makes things better. 🙂
    4. The more flexible you are, the less stressful and smoother the process will go. I don’t think anyone says they WANT to have a C-Section but it happens. Just be open to whatever is best for you and baby.
    5. Glad you have a plan and there is some direction should there be any questions – always good to be prepared.
    You look beautiful, healthy and happy. Wishing you the best experience and can’t wait to hear all the details! Hugs!

  4. Liz F
    September 16, 2018 / 5:42 pm

    I had my son’s and my mom in the room! They both stayed near my head – my son’s father, because I was uncomfortable with him being that close to the action, and my mother because she almost passed out (lol)

    I understand him wanting it to be just you two, but I would recommend all the support you can get for during labor! And YES, take pictures. One thing I really regret was not hiring a photographer.

    Good luck, momma!

  5. September 16, 2018 / 5:42 pm

    I had my hubby, mom, sister and dad (it just kinda happened he planned on leaving and then he came so fast and was in a no see zone in the corner and at this point I could care less) in for the first baby, hubby, mom, sister, niece for baby 2 (grandpa was watching baby 1) and just me and hubby for baby 3. I was confident in child birth by then and we knew it was our last. You do you and tell hubby why you want who you want – In times of struggle, stress and joy – who do you turn to? That’s who should be there to support you!

  6. Kaitlyn
    September 16, 2018 / 5:36 am

    I just had my first baby (also a girl!) on July 25th and I was just like you – terrified! It was different and the same as I thought it would be if that makes sense.

    I came in without a birth plan and just figured I’d go with whatever happened to bring my baby to me. I told myself that I’d go natural as long as I could but I wasn’t against an epidural. After 36 hours of labeling (34 of which at home) I got the epidural at 7 centimeters dilated. IT. WAS. SO. WORTH. IT! I think I wanted to see if could go natural to avoid the needle of the epidural – I will never do that again. I will get an epidural the second I could with any other birth I have! Just don’t look at the kit when they bring it in. All you feel is the numbing needle and then pressure, only lasts 5 minutes including all the taping they do when they tape it to your back. I hate needles and this seriously wasn’t bad – the IV I got in triage hurt worse!

    Also, I had my husband and my mom in the room the entire time I was laboring, but my mom left when it was time to push and then it was just my husband and I! It was so nice to have my mom in the room with us for support and comfort but also so nice to have the intimacy of just my husband and I the moment our daughter came into the world.

  7. GA
    September 15, 2018 / 3:57 pm

    Hang in there! All you can do is pray for a healthy baby. No matter the delivery or last minute section, the end result is always to get that angel here safely! Both of my girls were vaginal births. The first was almost a section but she flipped last minute and was here the next. My second came so quick I was getting my epidural literally 10 minutes before pushing. You will forget any pain! Holding that baby for the first tome makes it all worth it a million percent!

  8. susan rawls
    September 14, 2018 / 11:18 pm

    Amanda,

    I am new to reading blogs and I have enjoyed you sharing your life with other young women and especially your fashion ideas. I had my first child at 42 and I was nervous. I am not a scaredycat, but, on my last doctor visit I was told to check into the hospital that evening. I cried all the way home wondering “How in the world am I going to be able to do this! ” Well, it all works out wonderfully. The nursing staff and doctors are there for you. Mine were great! As all mothers will tell you it is the most wonderful experience and when they put that little bundle in your arms you will wonder what you were even nervous about. It’s perfectly fine to be nervous. It’s normal. I have a beautiful 16 year old daughter. I wish you the best experience and I am so happy for you.

  9. Carol
    September 13, 2018 / 10:55 pm

    Okay, I was super scared too. Needles, blood, everything scared me. My water broke at 39 weeks and got an epidural at 3 cm (which didn’t hurt as bad as I anticipated). I never had any complications during my pregnancy so I had planned for a vaginal birth, but after 12 hours of labor I had only dilated to 7 cm and with every contraction my baby’s heart rate would drop because he was sitting on his umbilical cord. I ended up getting an emergency c section which let me tell you….I had never been more scared in my life. My husband wasn’t in the OR because he would have passed out so my mom took his place which put me at ease because I didn’t have to worry about him passing out or throwing up lol. After the anesthesiologist worked his magic I didn’t feel a thing, just some tugging. I was still scared out of my mind but now that I look back two months later I had nothing to be scared about! You got this, I’ll have you in my prayers!

  10. Anna S
    September 13, 2018 / 8:15 pm

    I just had my first baby, a little boy, 2 months ago. I have a super low pain tolerance and remember being super nervous about giving birth. I watched a lot of YouTube videos to help me understand what I was getting myself into, which both helped me and freaked me out.

    My plan going in was vaginal birth and epidural. Luckily that is what ended up happening. My water broke at 5:30 am that morning and when that happens they want you to come in within 2-3 hours to avoid infection. Once I went through triage and was settled in the birthing suite, my contractions started to get pretty painful. I was trying to wait it out before asking for an epidural, but I now realize that was silly. The pain got so bad from the contractions that my nerves were shot and I was shaking. Once I got the epidural (which was painless btw!), I felt nothing. Sweet relief! I then got to rest and nap while my cervix was dilating over the next several hours.

    With pushing, to minimize time, make sure you push correctly. They say push with your bottom, which literally feel like taking a poop. It’s easy to want to not push this way for fear of pooping or farting, but it’s really the only way to move the baby out. I eventually had to get over it lol. If I pushed correctly, I think I could’ve shaved at least an hour off of my 2.5 hour pushing time.

    My husband was the only one in the room with me plus one nurse. The OB would only pop in occasionally to check in, and then the last 20 minutes to deliver. When you’re pushing, you are extremely vulnerable, exhausted, and very exposed. I would not have felt comfortable having anyone other than my husband and medical professionals seeing me in that state. My husband was supposed to only stay by my shoulders but ended up having to hold my other leg and help coach me through the pushing. It was tough for him and he was such a rock for me. In the end, it was a really powerful experience for him.

    I’m sure you’ll do great! Best of luck in your delivery – meeting your little girl will make all of this worth it. 😊

  11. September 13, 2018 / 7:37 pm

    Hey girl! I was a TOTAL scaredy cat about all medical stuff before having a baby. I had literally put off getting a blood test for TEN YEARS before I got one to confirm my pregnancy because I’d have a panic attack just even thinking about getting my blood drawn. Same goes for IVs – I was absolutely terrified. I am here to tell you that you will ASTOUND yourself when the time comes to have your baby. When you have to get your IV, just close your eyes, hold your husband’s hands, and think of your little one. It’s over quickly, and you won’t even feel it after that.

    The next scary part for me was the epidural. I was in quite a bit of pain from the labor, and I’m telling you, I LITERALLY did not feel a thing that was painful. I didn’t even know it was finished, and then I felt immediate relief. It was amazing. I was able to be fully present and in a great mood for hours! I even managed to take a nap for several hours thanks to my epidural!

    When it came to the labor, I literally couldn’t feel anything thanks to my epidural. In my opinion, you definitely don’t need someone coaching you on that end lol because I had SO many medical professionals in the room. There were nurses, midwives, and OB-GYNs going in and out of the room checking my progress and watching me push. Unfortunately, my baby was turned face up, so her little chin kept getting stuck behind my pelvic bone. My pushing was productive, but she just couldn’t come out due to being stuck behind the bone. Totally not trying to scare you – she was fine, and so was I, but I just wanted to mention because I LITERALLY pushed for 4.5 hours with no pain. I was just tired from the breathing.

    In the end, I unfortunately had to get a last-minute c-section because of my baby’s position, which was out of my control, but it was honestly fine. They re-did my epidural, and I didn’t have any pain at all. It only felt like someone was tugging on my skin a bit, but not pain just like someone was moving you a little bit.

    I promise you that you are gonna be SO overjoyed with your little one that you will quickly forget any moments of discomfort. I was honestly sad to leave the hospital because I had such a good experience overall. You got this, mama!!

    P.S. The one thing I’d wish I’d done differently was to be firm about wanting to have more skin-to-skin time with my baby immediately after delivery. I really think that ended up affecting my milk supply at the very beginning.

  12. Mackenzie
    September 13, 2018 / 6:33 pm

    Hi!
    I’m a mother baby nurse and just wanted you to know that when you go into labor your body will know what to do naturally. You’ll do great. The only people you are going to want in the room is going to be your husband and anyone else if you feel they help you. The room will be full of nurses and doctors all coaching you on what to do. And the pain will go away or be a second thought after you get to hold your sweet little girl. I’m personally really glad you are sharing all about your pregnancy, most people don’t know all that goes along with bringing another life into this world. Best of luck!

  13. Kelly N
    September 13, 2018 / 6:19 pm

    Just a couple things I want to share!

    I’ve never given birth but there are a few things I wanted you to know because I’m a nurse!
    1) The ONLY time you cannot get an epidural is when the baby is so close to coming out that you physically wouldn’t be able to sit on the side of the bed without sitting on the baby! It is mostly a myth that you can’t get an epidural past a certain point. If there is a point where you can’t get one, it’s because the baby is coming out in the next several minutes. You will have many, many hours before that to get an epidural and be comfortable! Often times, a woman with her first baby can benefit from an epidural that will allow you to relax (because no pain yay!) and that helps the cervix dilate when you’re relaxed!
    2) my experience watching several women labor is that you WANT to be relaxed before the show really starts! So keep people in the room who will relax you! If relaxing looks like laughing and chatting, that’s your choice! If you want to nap/rest (which nurses will encourage you to do) just keep that in mind when inviting people to join you!

    Best of luck!

  14. Ashley M
    September 13, 2018 / 7:54 am

    First of all I’m a scary cat just like you. I picture my 17 year old self still heavily breathing in a brown paper sack over a shot as I type that haha. So when I found out I was pregnant fear rushed over me and I was that way the whole time. I had high blood pressure off and on throughout my pregnancy so I was able to be induced at 38wks. I went in at 4:30PM on a Sunday dialated to a….0! They started my IV (took 4 tries and was sooo painful) and incerted the cervidil to start softening my cervix. About an hour or so later they came and removed that and then started pitocin to start the dilation process…. long night ahead. I wasn’t in any pain but I couldn’t sleep for anything (also nurses were in and out all night). My water broke on it’s own throughout the night. I feel like I stayed at a 3-4 for sooo long. I was like you and waited as long as possible to get my epidural (which I shouldn’t have done). Once I was ready the anesthesiologist was held up in surgery so I had to wait till he got out…. needless to say by that time I was in major pain and freaking out. Eventually I got it and didn’t even feel a thing! I also slept, hard, for a good three hours and then I woke up ready to push. I felt the need to push from 6-10 but it progressed faster than I thought. After 30 mins of pushing and 24 hrs later he arrived! The “ring of fire” was the only part I felt. Oh and I only had my husband in there with me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way! He did great!

    I know every birth is different but honestly I hyped my self up so bad for the worst and it actually wasn’t bad at all! The IV and the pushing on your belly afterwards every 15 mins hurt worse than anything! I didn’t have any stitches or wasnt in any pain after wards (I didn’t even take any pain meds when I went home). You got this momma!!

  15. Sas
    September 13, 2018 / 6:10 am

    I think having a plan is always a good idea and knowing that it may and likely will change 8s even better. I think no matter what you choose you need to go into it knowing that you were made for this. Regardless of whether or not you are a “baby” about blood, needles, etc, YOU ARE STRONG . Going in with a good mindset is so important.
    For my first, I planned to go natural and use a doulas. My husband thought I was crazy boy I honestly never imagined getting an epidural. I wanted a doula to be able to take the reigns and coach me when needed my husband could focus on me and his experience as well. It also helped to have her there to write my son’s birth story. I went all natural. Things were complicated by the fact that he was posterior and pressing into my sciatica which caused back labor that was worse than my contractions. The back labor didn’t subside like the contractions did. I labored for 12 hrs and pushed for 3 hrs. Little man did not want to move. I ended up with a csection (not emergent) that I chose because I had no energy left. My husband cried because he knew that wasn’t what I wanted but I was ok because i knew I had done what I could. So you could basically say I had 2 experiences in one.
    For my daughter, I was told i should strongly consider a scheduled csection. I chose to try to VBAC. I ended up being induced because she was 8 days late. I planned to do natural again but did consider an epidural if I had any signs of back labor. I ended up with back labor so I went the epidural route. I ended up VBAC’ing which I am super proud of. I would not change either experience. Do what you feel is best for you. It will all be fine and all that really matters is an event free delivery and healthy mama and baby.

  16. Melody
    September 13, 2018 / 5:49 am

    I have 4 children. And my goals were very similar to yours with all of them, goal #1 was healthy baby no matter how he or she got here but I did want an epidural and I did hope for vaginal delivery. And much like you, I was SCARED TO DEATH of delivery. I was very well educated on it, I was in the delivery room with 2 of my sister’s deliveries. That actually may have made me more terrified. Something completely different about going through it yourself. All 4 of mine were delivered vaginally with an epidural and I don’t regret that at all! I loved each delivery and they were different in their own way.
    I want to thank you for being open and honest about what you are going through being pregnant. The good, the bad, & the ugly. You can read all the information you want and be mentally prepared but that is not the same as going through it. Thanks again for being who you are!

  17. Haidy
    September 13, 2018 / 5:13 am

    I’m just like you, a baby when it comes to anything that hurts. I had epidural and vaginal and i’m so thankful. Once the epidural was in, there was no pain. I enjoyed having my baby girl and will never forget the first moment they put her in my arms. I looked up for a second and saw my doctor leaning at the wall in front of me, crossing arms, watching the surreal moment of meeting my daughter for the first time. He had an unforgettable smile on his face. Nothing in the world compares.
    Hang in there. It will be wonderful!

  18. Sara
    September 13, 2018 / 5:09 am

    Hi there! Not yet a mother or currently expecting, but thought an observers opinion might be nice. I’m very close with my sister and was present for her last 2 births. She had her plans for how she wanted the births to play out; one was easy going with a vaginal/epidural birth and another was vaginal/ no epidural because the baby came so quickly. In those cases I think it’s good to hope for the best, yet be informed and prepared for the worst; or at least something different. There’s definitely going to be pain differences, but honestly, I don’t think you’ll worry too much, because in those moments you gather so much strength to bring life to your child. While I could tell it was painful for her, the love and the miraculousness surrounding it all kinda overshadowed the rest. As for having someone in the room, I think her husband in the beginning kinda wanted it to be just them, but both my Mom and I came in. Her husband was very supportive, but my sister really appreciated having our mom there because she could relate to it all. As for me, it was an amazing experience to share with her and I was able to get all these really nice photos to document it all while she and her husband could be full present in each moment. Her husband said in the midst of it all that he didn’t even remember us being in the room since it happens so quickly and you’re all caught up in the moment, and that our being present didn’t take away from sharing it all with his wife. Hope this was somewhat helpful! You’ll do wonderful no matter the circumstances! And keep on keeping on; I’m so sorry you have to deal with such negativity from some individuals.

  19. Olivia Loudis
    September 13, 2018 / 4:40 am

    First of all, Shame on those trolls! I love your posts and don’t let the haters get you down!

    Second- Don’t let labor scare you! I think we all tend to fear it and expect the worst but I had an all natural birth with my daughter and trust me you can do it! I mean that’s what we’re made to do right? I didn’t want an epidural for a couple of reasons that not many people talk about so I want to make sure you know what you’re getting into. 1st with an epidural you have to have a catheder versus natural you don’t. Might not be a huge deal for some people but I didn’t want one. I also didn’t like the idea of being paralyzed and not able to walk after. I also wanted to be able to eat during my labor so I waited to go to the hospital until my contractions were close enough together and consistent enough. Epidurals can also stall your labor making the whole process last a lot longer. Lots of friends of mine have either gotten the epidural and it wore off before the baby actually came or they didn’t put the needle in right.

    You are totally right though about plans not always going our way. My sister had an emergency c section so I would say it’s more of an idea/ guide than a plan and just expect the unexpected! Don’t count anything out because at the end of the day, you still have a beautiful baby born no matter how they make their way here! 😉

  20. Amber
    September 13, 2018 / 4:24 am

    I planned to get all the pain meds! I got an epidural, and for me it was much more wonderful than I thought. I didn’t have any pain after the epidural. It was easy to push and didn’t hurt. I was surprised by that. I thought it would dull the pain, but didn’t think it would take it away!!

    In terms of who should be in there. I only had my husband the entire time. I had my family in there after I got the epidural and was feeling better, but asked them to leave when I was about to push. It just felt too personal to me. But that’s just me.

    Best of luck! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The feeling of having that baby look you in the eyes for the first time was so, so sweet. Makes my heart melt just thinking about it. I would say ask your sister to try to capture that moment!

  21. Whitney
    September 13, 2018 / 4:22 am

    Absolutely allowed to be selfish! Birth is 100% mentally and physically taxing on the Mom so you do whatever necessary to put you more at ease. I had both my mom and husband in the room for the birth of my 2 year old and 2 month old. Honestly I’m sure it would of been much more difficult otherwise. They took turns massaging my back when my epidural failed. One held my hair and the other a bucket when I got sick. My husband held my hand while my mom got me more ice or a popsicle. And come time for birth my husband held my leg while the nurse held the other and my mom captured the amazing once in a life photos. No questions about it.. have both for sure!

  22. Erica
    September 13, 2018 / 4:05 am

    My plan, or lack there of, was much like yours. I wanted to give myself room to be flexible in any given situation. Happy and healthy baby #1 priority, no matter what method. I was induced with my first and had an epidural. I always imagined labor and delivery to be VERY dramatic, like what you see on tv (epidural be like yeaaaaa). It totally wasn’t. Like I was doing my makeup before I pushed haha. My mom REALLY wanted to come in but I told her no, I only wanted my husband because I didn’t want any added stressors. However, when the time came and everything was much more calmer than I expected, I had a nurse go get her so she could be there. Thrill of her life! I also had a photographer and I say yes a million times to having one! You will LOVE those pictures forever! And I’m sure your sister will do a very tasteful job! My favorite picture I have is of my husband lovingly gaze at me while I labored. I would have never seen that otherwise! I think you’ll be surprised how your husband steps up in the moment! You’ll be great!

  23. Lynn
    September 13, 2018 / 4:03 am

    Honestly, as everyone else has said, you can “plan” but what will happen will happen. Share your preferences with your doctor and he/she will do what they can to accommodate you-remember your health and well-being and the baby’s health and well-being are the most important things. My husband was the only one in the room with me. There are so many other people in there-nurses, doctor possibly intern – you honestly don’t need a cheering section in there as well. While they are well intentioned, it may cause you more angst than be good. That’s just my personal feeling.

  24. September 13, 2018 / 4:00 am

    I had an epidural with both kids and it was the best decision. I am not usually one to be ok with big needles but you don’t see it going in and are in pain when they are doing it and will really want it to happen so the fear of needles go out the window. As for having people in the room I only had my husband as we were only allowed to have one person in the room for the delivery. Personally more people would have been more stress for me so it was good. The nurses coach you through the delivery the doctor is only really there right at the end. You will be fine and it is totally natural to over analyze everything before your first.

  25. Cassie Haynes
    September 13, 2018 / 3:56 am

    I think having a birth plan is a good idea, even if it’s just in your head and something that you and Troy have discussed. I am the same as you and went for an epidural alll the way! I just told my nurse that I wanted it and they basically would check me and see how far along I was and how I was feeling and I told them like 30-45 min before I wanted it so they had time to prep. I think you should do what feels right to you in the delivery room. I will say that for me I was worried about my husband as well and once labor really kicked in and we were getting close Jeremy totally changed and was curious, interested, worried, excited all of the above. You might be surprised at how Troy reacts once the realization hits him. I only had my husband in the room but wish I would have had a photographer to capture those moments of seeing them for the first time. I must have missed your story about people talking about your blog but all I have to say is I follow you BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU! I feel like I connect with you, you are real, realatable, funny and seem like a genuinely nice person. I find anymore that I don’t care to follow the people who are always perfect or have the perfect pretty pictures because they create this doubt in me sometimes. I know that’s ridiculous but it seems like when everyone is perfect and styled and has the Gucci belt you have looked at a hundred times it just seems fake and redundant. I like that I can relate to you so keep being yourself!

  26. Amanda but I’ve always been “Mandy”
    September 13, 2018 / 3:48 am

    Amanda
    I love your blog and all of your Instastories, pics, etc. Don’t pay attention to silly haters. You do you…. and forget the trolls behind the keyboards.
    As a mom of 3-Boys I had good intentions regarding my birth plan for each delivery but like you mentioned. Best laid plans often go astray. My first was pretty quick all natural, vaginal delivery. My second I was induced and he was a huge baby 9.11 oz, which I deliver with a epidural and any other drugs they would give me. My third came 5 wks early- we were not ready and neither was he so I had a C-section (because he was breech) and he stayed in the NICU for 3 wks. So the moral is you never know what God has in store for you. Just have you plan ready, don’t stress and roll with whatever happens. Keep up the wonderful posts and pics. I love seeing your new house. I hope one day I get the chance to meet you at one of your events.

  27. Kristen
    September 13, 2018 / 3:45 am

    My little one just turned 2 months! All I knew going into labor is that I thought I wanted an epidural and that my husband and Mom were going to be in the room. The experience I envisioned was not what I had, but I wouldn’t change anything. Keep an open mind and don’t get too hung up on a plan. Wishing you a happy and healthy delivery!

  28. September 13, 2018 / 3:39 am

    I tried to keep an open mind with my birth plan. I wanted a natural vaginal birth but at the same time wasn’t sure I could handle the pain. I ended up having to be induced at 41 weeks which was not in my plan. With the pitocin making the contractions so much more painful I got the epidural but thankfully my entire labor and delivery was only 9 hours. I’m expecting my second in a couple months and really hoping to avoid an induction and have a labor and delivery that is 9 hours or less.
    As far as having family in the room I chose to just have my husband in the room. I don’t think my mom really wanted to be in there haha. My nurse was exceptional and coaching me as far as when to push etc and the doctor was great as well!
    I hope your birth experience is wonderful!

  29. Alex
    September 13, 2018 / 3:18 am

    I’m 31 weeks pregnant and have really enjoyed following your pregnancy and honesty about everything you’re feeling and going through. Before I got pregnant I thought pregnancy was going to be this easy and beautiful thing. Don’t get me wrong, it is a “beautiful” thing but what I’ve learned is it’s definitely not easy for everyone. I had to tell myself that not everybody enjoys being pregnant and that’s OKAY! I can’t wait to meet my baby boy and I also can’t wait to enjoy a cocktail! As far as my delivery goes- I’m hoping for a vaginal delivery and I’m 100% getting an epidural, pain free please! I will have my husband and mom with me until it’s time for me to start pushing. When I start pushing it will just be my husband in the room with me. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a nurse but I’m not really scared for the delivery; however, I am TERRIFIED of postpartum. Terrified of not being able to feed my baby, terrified of being trusted with this precious baby that is so fragile, terrified of all the crazy/gross things that will go on with my body (I know too much), etc etc etc….
    I hope whatever you choose works out wonderfully for you! Is there even a right or wrong way to do things? Prayers for a safe delivery and healthy baby girl! ❤️

  30. September 13, 2018 / 3:11 am

    Amanda please don’t let these negative comments put you down or think for one minute that you’re not doing the right thing. None of us mommas are perfect!! No one knows exactly what’s right because everyone is different! Pregnancy is already hard enough without everyone else having their opinion on YOUR life.

    I went in with an open mind -wasn’t sure if I wanted an epidural or not. Everyone had told me their stories and honestly I was so scared when I went into labor. My first thought was omg this is only gonna get worse??? Omg 😮. Then I decided right then to get my epidural 😂😂. I honestly have no idea how women do it without one so props to them! Once I got my epidural it was smooth sailing from then. I labored from 8 am- 2pm got my epidural and Liam was here at 11:23 pm. But let’s be honest- I was dead asleep the entire time 💤 😂 didn’t feel a thing!! Well pressure but it’s not painful at all (for me). Liam got his head out and then turned him over and he reached up and put his arms on my belly 😭😭 my mom caught it on camera. Literally the sweetest thing ever!! My doctor told me to pull him out the rest of the way and I laid him on my chest and that’s a moment I’ll never forget. It is the most beautiful day of your life so please enjoy it!!! It’s the best ever!!

    Congrats Amanda!!! Can’t wait to see Miller’s cute lil face! 💕♥️

  31. September 13, 2018 / 2:54 am

    As you alluded to, we make plans and God laughs. This was so true for my births. But that being said, knowing your preferences will help you and your doctors make decisions. And I think too many ‘cooks in the kitchen’ could get irritating real fast – but if you are SUPER close with your mom and sister, then it will probably help calm you down. And above all, you will find that your fears of needles and pain will likely diminish significantly – going through this will make you tougher than you ever imagined. Good luck!!
    —mom of 2 girls; one with special needs 🙂

  32. Lori
    September 13, 2018 / 2:50 am

    I appreciate your honesty in all that you are feeling during pregnancy… keep doing you!

    If your husband is the queezy type, I personally would op for your sister or mom to be there. Yes it is a special moment for you and your husband but personally I wanted my sister there who could be my support when my husband was feeling overwhelmed or couldn’t give me the exact support I needed. Women, in my opinion understand a little bit more how to comfort and support.

  33. Allison
    September 13, 2018 / 2:32 am

    I went in to deciding a birth plan in a similar way to you. My husband doesn’t do blood or needles so i knew i had some decisions to make. With that being said my birth plan was to not have one. People said i was crazy but i knew that things won’t go according to my plan. It was all up to my baby.
    The doctors decided on my due date to induce. After being hooked up to the petocin for a few hours they broke my water and that’s when “real” labor started. I immediately called for an epidural (which i will highly recommend.) i didn’t realize how badly i wanted a vaginal birth until complications happened and the dr said she would have to go in and take the baby out. But i swear the baby heard and the next thing i knew i was pushing. My beautiful baby boy was born and i couldn’t be happier.
    Whatever your plan is – or if it’s like mine where there was no plan. You need to do what’s right for you and Troy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Every baby has their own way of entering the world and baby Miller will be no different. Stick to your guns and you can’t go wrong.

  34. September 13, 2018 / 2:29 am

    I think you should have your hubby and your photographer. I personally didn’t want my mom in the room but of course it’s up to you! The nurses will be your biggest help in coaching you through pushing. So don’t worry about that. I didn’t get a ton of pics but I’m so sad about it so having your sis there to take pics will be so worth it. Hubby won’t even notice who all is there in the moment – he’ll be focused on you and baby girl!

  35. Liz
    September 13, 2018 / 2:29 am

    That was my plan also, Vaginal and Epidural. I didn’t think of anything else besides those two things even though I am a Type A planner. I was also thrilled when I went past my due date and was able to choose a day to be induced. I got to calmly drive to the hospital at my selected date and thought it was the greatest thing ever. Plus my mom had the easiest birth stories ever so I was so sure I was going to be done in an hour or two.

    They put me on all the medication and after a bit I asked how soon I could have the epidural and was told it was my choice and I could ask for it whenever. The nurse also told me that there was one anesthesiologist and sometimes there was a line so to not wait until last minute. I also had fear of waiting until it was to late so I immediately told the nurse to sign me up and put me in line. Epi was a smooth process and I could not feel any pain at all. I was induced at 8am that day and the hours started to go by and it was already 10 pm and nothing. Then we had a bit of a scare with the babies vitals and they put me on meds to stop contractions, it was scary for me but doctor seemed calm and I am so thankful for that. After couple more hours doctor told me that we had to do a c-section for the babies safety. I was shocked but at the same time relieved after so many hours wondering if something was wrong.

    I had a health baby boy 17 hours after I got to the hospital. Nothing went as I had it in my head but at the end of the day my plan didn’t really matter. I am sure that whatever you decide, agree or disagree will be forgotten once you hear your baby’s first cry. And yes I think your husband should have a say, he has one vote and you have two 😉

  36. September 13, 2018 / 2:13 am

    Your plan sounds perfect. Do what feels right for YOU. I had an epidural. It was fabulous. I highly recommend it. My husband was in the room with me but I made him stay by my head. There are some things that cannot be unseen. That is what felt right for me. The most important thing is to be there for each other during this time. Childbirth and immediately after can be both beautiful and complicated. This will be one of the greatest moments of your life so hold on tightly because it will take your breath away. Sending you positive vibes for a quick and peaceful delivery.

  37. Sam
    September 13, 2018 / 1:53 am

    OK, so I agree with your husband. It was so special to me for it to be just us two in the room. I was adamant no mother’s, sisters, etc would be in there with us and hubby agreed. That being said, you are the one giving birth, so you do you! My birth plan was “ I want him out, and healthy.” I didn’t care how.

  38. Stephanie
    September 13, 2018 / 1:53 am

    First of all, how could anyone think your blog is inappropriate! Thank you for being real and dont ever let anybody put you down, please keep up all your hard work and all that you do! Second, I had a natural birth but I would never impose my views on anyone. You should do what you feel most comfortable with. Also, sometimes for whatever reason your birth plan doesn’t always go as expected so I think it is helpful to be mentally prepared for that. I am a very private person, so it was only my husband in the delivery room with me, so no one was photographing for us other than the few pics he managed to take and I completely wish we had someone taking photos. Birth is such a beautiful experience. I wish you best of luck and prayers for the happiness and health of you and your baby!

  39. September 13, 2018 / 1:43 am

    I love reading all about your journey so far, with all the real details. It really helps me to have an idea what my pregnancy might look like when my husband and I get pregnant. I love reading mom-to-be blogs about pregnancy and about birth stories! It gives me something to hold on to bc I honestly can’t wait to start a family with my husband. I hope that people telling you you are “too much” or “too real” will not deter you from posting, bc I am one of those ppl hanging on to every word! I freak out about pain and needles and blood and it helps me to read the real words of women who have been through it so I know what to expect. You are absolutely beautiful, and Miller is going to be the cutest little girl. I pray everything goes smoothly during your labor, and that your family and doctors are there to support you in every way you need. God bless!

  40. Libby
    September 13, 2018 / 1:26 am

    I love you honest blog posts! Wish I read more of that before I had my daughter! I was absolutely terrified of labor. I refused to get my blood drawn my entire adult life because I don’t like needles. My husband is the same way. So he had no plans of watching the birth. But when it came time to push the doctor told him to look and he did and he’s so glad he did! As for the epidural, my hospital told me it was never too early to get it! I waited about 4 hours after pitocin was started and it was a piece of cake! My entire labor was pretty painless compared to what I was expecting, even with pitocin. I had my daughter 8 days late so my last two weeks of pregnancy were way worse than both labor and the recovery.

    Every woman’s labor is totally different! Reading birth stories was soooo beneficial for me as it made me realize there were so many different ways it could go! Every birth story is beautiful in its own way! It was the most amazing experience of my life! You will soon see why women love telling their birth story as it is such a special memory to hold onto! Best of luck!!

  41. Tori
    September 13, 2018 / 1:13 am

    i’m not pregnant, but i just want to say thank you for being authentic and not shying away from real conversations with real people. i never comment on anything but i truly enjoy following you and love how honest you are. keep doing you girl!

  42. Jennifer
    September 13, 2018 / 12:57 am

    Have you considered a doula? She could help support You during the labor and delivery taking that pressure of your husband. Even if your mom is there, how many years has it been since she actually went to delivery?
    A doula goes to hundreds of deliveries every year and so they really know how to help you through all of the tough parts and she can help you with the questions and decisions that you have to make, like when to get your epidural.

    Also, I think it’s great that you’re being honest I wish that more people talked about the difficulties of pregnancy and family life not to scare anybody off but just to prepare people for what could happen.

  43. Chaundra
    September 13, 2018 / 12:44 am

    This is so great! I feel like no one really talks about all these details with each other. I can honestly say no one has really talked about having a baby in such a raw real way to me. I think so much is assumed these days and people are afraid to ask questions. I love how open you are and willing to share your experience. We need to lift each other up. Not tear each other down.

  44. Kathryn
    September 13, 2018 / 12:24 am

    No shame in epidural, (though you will get shamed, but really there’s no trophy for going natural and no harm in not). I had an epidural and a GREAT delivery. I felt nothing and laughed between pushed while discussing renovations the on call doctor was doing in her house, (my OB was on vacation until the next morning). I didn’t tear or have any pain after and I think it’s a mixture of his size (7lbs, 21in) and the fact I was so incredibly relaxed by not being in pain. I was a single mom so I had my mom in there. She stayed by my head and did nothing and won’t be there this time around since my husband will be. He too will be a nervous, grossed out wreck despite being a firefighter who has delivered a complete stranger’s baby, BUT that’s okay. Your nurses will keep you calmer than anyone you know. Now your sister, I totally agree on photos. I think a few photos during labor are BEAUTIFUL, especially of dad comforting mom. And having that first photo of you with baby and of dad with baby is all super special. Then she can step out while you do your recommended amount of time for skin to skin so you still get private time, (which was super important to me so I totally get where Troy is coming from).

  45. Jessica Nunley
    September 13, 2018 / 12:17 am

    I appreciate your honesty regarding your pregnancy! I felt like no one really told me the nitty gritty truth, and was in for a lot of ‘is this normal?’ during my pregnancy, and even those first few weeks after my baby arrived! As for who was in the room, I also wanted my Mom in the room and my husband thought I was crazy. I had planned on over ruling him, because my vagina my rules, but the more I thought about it, I thought he had a valid point wanting it to just be him and I, and I shouldn’t discount that. Now, I ended up having a scheduled C Section because my baby was breech and never flipped, so there wasn’t really a point in having my Mom in there anyway. Plus my Mom was so considerate of the fact she’d be experiencing the birth and my Dad wouldn’t get to, she decided they’d wait in the lobby together for the news. I should also mention, the sex of our baby was a surprise (even to us), so that weighed a lot into our decision as well. We figured everyone in our families could all find out the sex at the same time, versus my Mom finding out before my Dad or my Sister. As for photography, I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH! They’re your memories, and you’ll want them 100%. Because I had a C Section, our photographer couldn’t be in the OR, BUT she was there leading up to them wheeling me back, in there when I first got to hold my baby, when my husband was holding our baby waiting for me after surgery, and the first time my family got to meet the baby. Those are moments not only I’ll treasure forever, but they’re candid photos that allowed us to all really enjoy our time with each other without asking everyone to constantly take pictures. Plus, when I look back, I barely even remember that day, it’s kind of like your wedding day, it goes by so fast and in a blur! We also had a GREAT nurse for my C Section who videoed the birth for us, and took photos for us in the OR since our photographer couldn’t be back there. And, because I’m the most (and the birth was scheduled), I had a blow out the day before, full face of makeup, lipstick on, nails and toes freshly done. Plus put my jewelry on as soon as I was out of the OR for the pictures. PS: I had major anxiety about giving birth as well, I think it’s very normal!

  46. Kait
    September 13, 2018 / 12:08 am

    You’re going to do amazing with your birth! The best thing you can do for you and your baby is feeling confidant and comfortable going in. I suggest reading Ina Mays guide to child birth. It’s a beautiful book full of really empowering birth stories. I had a doula at my first birth and am planning for one in the next few days (eek!). It was my husband and my compromise as I wanted my mom, he didn’t. I will say, it was definitely the right choice. Having an advocate and support in the delivery room with you is definitely worth it. We didn’t photograph birth 1 but will be with #2. Here’s hoping it’s not terrible! 😂😂😂

  47. September 12, 2018 / 11:57 pm

    Mama of 2. A 21 month old and an almost 5 month old. Both vaginal deliveries with epidurals. Both less than 3 hours. And, both only required me to push 3 times! And most importantly, both of them were by far the most amazing experiences of my life. The feeling you get during delivery is unlike anything you can ever imagine. So emotional, so raw, so beautiful. I was also a labor and delivery nurse for 8 years so that did help me be and feel prepared for what to expect. I actually wrote a blog post about some of the literal “crappy” things to expect in the postpartum period, you should check that out!

    You do you. Emotions will be crazy that day and you change your mind as much as you want! I had my husband holding one leg and my sister the other. My sister snapped pics the moment both babies were delivered, and although they def won’t make it onto our home gallery wall 😂, they are the most beautiful pictures I’ve ever seen.

  48. Kelly
    September 12, 2018 / 11:43 pm

    Hi Amanda! Love this blog post! Totally real and raw and what you’ve written and million of other women have thought. So when I had my first I was only 24 and completely terrified. I had to have a c-section I actually didn’t even ask my husband if my mom could be in the room. That wasn’t even negotiable she was going to be in there or I wasn’t having the baby (I actually said that to the doctor) and he knew not to push because I was already nervous. Second I think having your sister in there is great to have those pics. I didn’t have a photographer and wish I did although my mom did take pics. Troy may be not for it now, but honestly if you’re a nervous (again totally normal) and he’s squeamish, your mom will be that calming voice and he will totally be grateful she was there.
    Also you’re totally not being selfish at all! You and your husband are a team but at the same time you’re pushing that baby out sooo I feel like you can call the shots on this one. It’s a little give and a little take and I think you can take on this one. Good luck!!!

  49. Katye
    September 12, 2018 / 10:36 pm

    You look incredible first of all! I did not have a plan other than wanting an epidural. I knew going in that I had no control over what was going to happen, so to me a plan was kind of pointless. I am so bad with anything medical related just like you, but you will be so focused on meeting your little girl you won’t even think about any of it. I had my husband as well as my mom in the room. My husband did all the things (up by my head)! He was my cheerleader and he held one of my legs and helped count out as I pushed. He honestly blew me away, so I think that yours will surprise you! My mom was there as comfort. I knew that she had done all of this twice before, and with no drugs *crazy lady*, so if I were to get overwhelmed or scared about something that was happening she could talk to me about it and calm me down, but I never needed it! She helped get my chap stick, change the music, brush my hair, and just knowing she was there was enough. I also can’t say enough about the nursing staff that I had. My doctor was wonderful, but he wasn’t there most of the time, which I think is pretty typical. My nurses made me feel so comfortable and talked to me about everything that was happening and everything that they were doing. I truly believe that good nurses make all the difference. This will be the most incredible experience of your life. My entire experience was so wonderful, I can’t wait to do it again. I am even getting happy tears in my eyes writing this and thinking about that day 9 months ago! You will be amazing!

  50. Erica
    September 12, 2018 / 10:31 pm

    During my first pregnancy, my plan was to only have my husband in the room. We ended up losing our daughter at 27 weeks though and after an incredibly fast and intense delivery there was no time to think about having my mom leave. So next time she will be there no matter what. In terms of pain, it HURTS. Don’t let anyone kid you and say it doesn’t. I’m a back laborer so it was hard to get comfortable. I regret how I manged my pain and will do things much differently next time. Ultimately I was scared of an epidural so started with Nuvan. That was absolutely horrible and made me feel like I was tripping balls. And it wasn’t even that effective. By the end (my labor was about 5 hrs total) I was begging for an epidural, my anxiety was through the roof, and I was shaking violently. The epidural was a piece of cake compared to what I had already gone through. Long story short, get the epidural! Don’t put yourself through that. I have major PTSD from the Nuvan and am extremely scared for next time. It doesn’t have to be that way though.

  51. Llittle
    September 12, 2018 / 10:27 pm

    Definitely have your mom in there! I told everyone the whole time that I was only going to have my husband and last minute announced that my mom would be staying in the room. There’s just something about having your mom in there that makes everything feel better!
    The nurses will help you through every stage of birth . They are seriously a god send! I used a yoga ball and what they called the peanut for my first birth. Once you have the epidural they won’t allow you out of the bed because your legs are gonna be numb and feel like they’re a million pounds! So I suggest to roll your hips around on the yoga ball till contractions get too strong! It helps the baby scoot down lower into the birth canal.

    I remember being so nervous and nothing anyone would say could get rid of those nerves! This is something your body has never gone through before so you really have no idea what to expect but you will feel like freaking Wonder Woman after you push that baby out. And once you see her face you won’t even remember labor.

  52. September 12, 2018 / 10:22 pm

    Ah I’m like 2 weeks behind you and I totally understand. I was like you [God willing] I wanted a vaginal birth with pain meds cuz I’m a big baby. The thought of labor terrifies me to the point of not wanting to go to a birthing class 😅, but due to some recent discussions with my OB and the L&D nurses/anesthesiologist I might not be able to have any pain meds because of underlying health conditions, so they all suggested I go to a birthing class just so I can learn the pain management part of the course. So much for my birth plan 🤷🏼‍♀️. Now the plan is to get the baby out the safest and best way we can 😂. I’m glad I went to the hospital tour, though, because I def wouldn’t have realized to ask about the epidural and pain meds before being admitted and I def wouldn’t have taken a birthing class.
    As far as who is in the room with me, I personally want as few people as possible, because the more people in there the more panicky and frustrated I get, but if you’re someone that take comfort in numbers than I would explain that to hubs. Our families will most likely be in the waiting room, but not in the actual room with us. Just keep in mind if there are complications, they often will shoo everyone except the father out and it’s easier for the doctors and nurses to work with less people there. It doesn’t hurt to try with everyone there first and if they get shooed out, then that’s that.

  53. Jenny
    September 12, 2018 / 10:15 pm

    Hi! I had a planned c-section due to being high risk and for me it was a great expirence and my healing was honestly so easy! I think there were many factors that contributed to this but mostly it was probably my positive attitude going in. I just had my husband in the room. Being in the OR there are already a lot of people in there and I wanted it to be as intimate as possible and something just the two of us shared. Everyone is different and what ever you do will be the best for you!

  54. leslie
    September 12, 2018 / 10:02 pm

    don’t apologize for your honesty! staying real and authentic is one of the only ways to set your blog apart! i am 24 weeks pregnant so this is all so helpful for me. love your pregnancy posts!

  55. Aubrey (ig: aubsajober)
    September 12, 2018 / 9:57 pm

    All your fears and thoughts are normal! This is a special time and having pictures taken to document will be special. You should ask your hospital if they have rules for how many people can be in the delivery room. I didn’t want anyone in the room except my husband. I was the exact same way with shots and blood draws… then we did a year of fertility treatments, it’s amazing what you can do when the end goal is holding your very own baby! SO, you might surprise yourself with the pain! My birth plan was to do a vaginal birth with the drugs. And I wanted all family in the waiting room. In the building, not in the room. HOWEVER, that’s not what happened. After being induced twice, I never dilated and went into active labor. So, for the health and safety of the baby, we did a C-section. It was very important for me to do skin on skin after the delivery and we were still able to do this after the C-section. Seconds after weighing him and checking him, they put him on me (while I was still on the table) and he latched immediately. It was an instant bond. He stopped crying the second he was on my chest. All the emotions were felt, even though I was numb from my ribs down! I’m tearing as I’m typing this. Just keep your plan open, so you don’t get disappointed if it doesn’t go “your” way. At the em d of it, you’ll have a baby in your arms. Regardless of the entry, your baby is and will be a blessing! Oh. My sisters plan was the same, but she went into labor in the middle of the night, and had the baby QUICK! She got sick from the epidural and no time to even text the family. And she’s a post op mommy/baby nurse and has seen it all. She had no one in the hospital. So even the prepared and experienced don’t get it their way. Haha! Babies have their own agenda! But by the time the baby was cleaned up, and they nursed, we were all there to meet the baby! After my C-section, it was a few hours of post op before the baby and I were allowed visitors because they had to move me to a different room.

  56. Audriana N
    September 12, 2018 / 9:56 pm

    Hi Amanda!!

    I will say, I have never responded to a blog post before but I LOVED this one so much I felt the need to comment!! You are so real about your feelings, questions, fears/concerns and I love that! Most bloggers aren’t this real, making it hard to relate to them and their lives.

    I have two kids, an almost 2.5 year old and a 1 month old. I loved both labors so much to the point when the labors were over and my babies were here I was a little sad. I had vaginal births with epidurals both times. With my son (2 year old) the epidural took completely and with my daughter the epidural only took on the left side of my body. It was so weird. I didn’t expect that at all because it worked so quickly when i was in labor with my son. With my daughter I felt all of the contractions (which was SO painful) but when it was time to push I felt nothing (maybe because I was so excited for her to be here or maybe it was the adrenaline?). Once they hand you your sweet Miller you won’t think about any of the pain you went through.

    My husband sounds a lot like Troy. He had to have cookies and juice in the hospital because he got light headed to the point of almost fainting when I was in labor with my son. I still give him a hard time about that 😉 he wouldn’t cut the cord because he was scared fluid would come out of it (insert eyeroll here)! In all seriousness, I loved that it was just me and my husband in the room. We got that chance to bond with our babies before any family members came in. My family also didn’t know what we were naming our kids, and I knew if they were in the room they would be asking constantly what their names were.

    What you decide will be perfect for you guys!! Don’t feel pressure from my (or anyone else’s) comments. You will make the right decision for you, Troy and Miller! I can’t wait to see pictures of your sweet girl when she gets here!! 💕

    Xoxo,
    Audriana

  57. Liza Galloway
    September 12, 2018 / 9:47 pm

    When I was pregnant with my son I opted to have my mom in the room. My husband is an ICU nurse and can be a little “be tough” so I wanted someone in there who understood what I was going through. He is also extremely medical and I knew would keep a watchful eye on stats so, again, I wanted someone there only for me. He was due the week of Thanksgiving so we opted to induce. It allowed my in-laws and my mom to plan accordingly during such a busy travel week. My doctor, on two different occasions before my scheduled induction, stripped my membranes to see if that would help me progress because I wasn’t dilating or thinning out. It never worked. I went in on a Sunday night to start the induction. Monday around 10 am they gave me an epidural and then broke my water. At 9:30 pm I had not progressed past 3cm and had been sitting there for over 12 hours. They had done everything all day to try and get some movement but he was happy to stay put. I knew the risks before going in for the induction and when she said c-section I was ready. I had such a great experience with both babies (c-section for my second) and wouldn’t do it any other way. Despite having major surgery the recovery for both was easy and manageable. Trust yourself. You’ll know what to do in the moment. And for sure don’t think about labor…carpartmentalize that and deal with it when you have to….I mean it has to happen someone or another so just deal with it when it happens. You’ll do great!

    It’s important to also note that I hate ivs. HATE THEM

  58. Carolyn
    September 12, 2018 / 9:32 pm

    I had a C-section and my Mom was in the operating room with my husband and I. I AM SOOO grateful she was there. I was really worried something would go wrong and while my husband is amazing, my best friend and my rock… my MOM is my person and helped to keep my grounded. When our son was born, my husband was able to stand by our son & be with him while my mom stayed with me while the doctor sewed me up. It was so great. And what an incredible thing for my Mom to be able to witness her grandsons first breathes. It meant the world to me and I wouldn’t change it. I have a few friends who really wanted there Moms there but decided against it and they really regret it. You can’t ever get those moments back.. If she is your person & can help keep you sane then have her there. 🙂

  59. Jamie
    September 12, 2018 / 9:23 pm

    Hi Amanda,

    I think all of your fears are validated. But you really have nothing to worry about. I had the same aversions to needles and don’t do pain very well at all. But I managed my first birth with just Lamaze breathing and pethadine which I was giving in my first trimester of my second pregnancy with a week long migraine so it’s a very mild pain killer and my second pregnancy was straight up old school and I much more enjoyed that labour. I tore naturally compared to being cut with my first (then stitched up too tight, that’s a story for another day). My husband is also like yours and I didn’t think he could handle all the foregoing details but he surprised me and was a champ he also didn’t see why I wanted my parents there but I had both of them and was glad I did. If I had a sister she would have been there too! I did it the same way the second time and I’m really glad I did. You are your parents baby and they will never have an experience quite the same. It’s definitely okay for you to be selfish. It is you pushing that baby out of your vagina! You have all the rights haha! You get the best prize at the end of it. If noone has told you about the ‘after pains’ you get post delivery. Now that to me is the worst part of it all. Noone ever told me about these. Contractions that get your uterus back to normal. That’s the stuff there! All par for the course. Good luck with everything and don’t be worried.

  60. Rachel B.
    September 12, 2018 / 9:21 pm

    31 weeks with my second child right now so let me start by saying your honesty and candor is rare and refreshing. I love it. Never change.

    First delivery I did vaginal with an epidural. The epidural only worked on one side of my body so there WAS pain involved, but I can honestly say, I have never had a greater experience in my life. It was like running a marathon or something. (At least that’s what I think running a marathon would be like ha!.) You prepare for a long time, you get in there and work as hard as you can, you sweat, and cry and hurt, and then you finish and you’ve done something so incredible you would think the experience itself would be enough because of how proud of yourself and your body you are. But unlike a race, you don’t just get a medal, you get this unbelievable gift of a baby. No matter how exhausted and disoriented you feel, the joy is just through the roof for this child. I would go through childbirth about 10000 more times because of that feeling. It’s the greatest thing in the world. Pain and all.

  61. Jame
    September 12, 2018 / 9:11 pm

    I never had a birth plan, when I had my first daughter as I was 19 so really I just went with whatever happens happens. I did have some complications with that delivery and it would have been all thrown out anyway. My other two were 12 and 15 years down the road and I was much more of a planner and had things in my mind that I wanted but never actually had a plan printed out as I know how things change in an instant. I do think what helped in all 3 of my deliveries is having my mom there! I always felt like no matter what she gave me comfort just being there! I had a vaginal delivery with an epidural with all three deliveries! Birth is magical and exhausting and joyful and so much more and I wish I would of had a photogragher be able to capture all those moments! I have friends who have done that and they are beautiful images! I think ultimately your husband is there to help support you as your the one having to push a baby out lol! I wish you luck and strength and calmness and hope you have a wonderful delivery!

  62. Laura
    September 12, 2018 / 9:02 pm

    You are glowing!! You’re so close to the finish line and holding that sweet little baby! I was stressed about all of that same exact stuff with my pregnancy and delivery. I had my husband, my mom (who happened to also be a labor and delivery nurse, so that was convenient), and we had a doula! My mother was in dallas, and we are in Houston, so I was afraid that she wouldn’t get there in time to ‘help’ me through everything. I had confidence in my husband, but wanted someone there for support through the entire process. We hired a doula that was comfortable with hostpital deliveries, and I can’t recommend that enough!! She was AMAZING! She helped when I was laboring at home, massaged me, made sure I was moving, drinking water, etc. She helped us decide when it was time to go to the hospital, and then stayed by my side for the next 24 hours. 😬 It was a blessing because it gave my husband break times. My mom showed up for the last few hours and ended up helping so that my husband could just hold my hand and be my cheerleader. The doula took some great pictures. I originally didn’t want pictures. But she talked me into taking some, with the understanding that I could delete them all if I didn’t like them. Nothing looked inappropriate or gross, and they ended up being pictures that I TREASURE so much. My advice is go with your gut feelings on everything. Make a plan if you want, but know that it will probably change. Reserve the right to kick everyone out of the room if you change your mind about allowing them in there. And trust that women have been doing this since the beginning. Your body knows what to do. So try not to stress too much! And even if you experience pain, I swear you’ll forget all about it the moment that sweet baby is in your arms. You’ll do so great!!

  63. Sarah Mcclanahan
    September 12, 2018 / 9:02 pm

    With both babies I was induced. It’s not something I had thought would happen but things out of my control changed and I decided to do it! I definitely had an epidural with both! I hate pain and needles too! With Mason I think I waited until the pain was unbearable. With Paisley I got it when I was starting to get contractions. I definitely suggest not waiting as long as I did with Mason. With both babies I had Patrick and my mom in there during the delivery and I’m so glad I did!! I had Masons birth photographed during and I cherish those pictures. With Paisley I wasn’t able too do the pictures and still regret it. My plan was real basic haha I did want the epidural, I didn’t want a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary and I didn’t want her to use The forceps unless it was absolutely necessary. So I got all that! I know you don’t always get everything that you planned though. You can do this 🙂 I was one of the ones terrified about birth too. And after they hand you your precious baby, you forget about everything. It really is the best feeling ever! Not the birthing part haha the after part.

  64. Brandy
    September 12, 2018 / 9:01 pm

    My daughters are now 10 and 7 but can remember it all like it was yesterday. My husband is also very squeamish about blood and needles and faints. So I was worried about him, so I wanted my mom in there with me just in case. Dont let those men fool you, they can really pull it together. My husband was amazing didn’t get sick or anything. My mom did great standing where I needed her to and being helpful or less helpful (whatever I needed). With that all said it would’ve been nice for that moment to just be ours. I’m not regretful but with my second I chose to just have my husband. With my second I had an planned/unplanned csection. She was breach and we tried having her turned at 38weeks (didnt work)so at 39w had a csection. That went beautifully as well. Was able to have bonding time and nurse quickly also. And for me personally easier to heal from. In regards to pictures I was very adamant about no pictures because I was worried I would be annoyed. But my mother in law snuck 1 pic in and it’s my favorite. I wished I had them done. Your experience will be wonderful and you will do great. Congratulations!

  65. Blythe
    September 12, 2018 / 9:01 pm

    Hi! I never did a birth plan with either of my births. I am a planner by nature and I just knew that if I had a plan in place and it didn’t go as planned, I would stress the heck out. I was induced with both. For my son, I had an epidural and vaginal delivery (pushed for 3hrs) my daughter came like a hurricane and I went from 1cm to 10cm in a little over an hour and didn’t get an epidural (I was actually screaming the anesthesiologists name “JIM! GET IN HERE!!” Haha!!) and I pushed for 3 minutes.
    I actually felt better after my daughters birth than I did with my son. I literally forgot about the pain as soon as she came out. Weird how that happens!
    My husband was the same as Troy about others in the room, so I only had hubs with me and the birth team. We also kept to ourselves for an hour after birth before we let family in to meet baby.
    That is what worked best for us, but you should most definitely do what is best for you! I can’t wait to see Miss Miller 🎀 She is be precious for sure!!

  66. Amber
    September 12, 2018 / 8:47 pm

    My only plan for the first baby was vaginal with no meds, lol. But I kept an open mind and I’m glad I did because I ended up requesting an epidural and I’m glad that I did. It allowed me to get in a nap and rest up for the pushing – only took three pushes! For the next two babies (I have three kids, all about 2 years apart), I also had epidurals. I only requested them once it was hard to talk and breath through the contractions. I didn’t want to get it to early for fear of it stalling labor. All of my labors and delivers have been very similar and were honestly some of the best parts for me – and that sounds crazy 🙂

    I had my husband, mom and dad for the first baby and then just the husband for the last two because my parents were watching our older kid(s) for subsequent deliveries. We didn’t do any photographs and its not something that I regret. I did allow a med student for the last two delivers observe so that they would have experience.

    Also be prepared in case your doctor is not on call for your delivery. All three of mine were scheduled inductions and my first baby was delivered by a different doctor but she was wonderful!!

  67. Sarah
    September 12, 2018 / 8:46 pm

    Hi! Followed you forever and have a four month old now. Definitely wish we would’ve been pregnant at the same time. Maternity fashion is hard these days and love all of your clothes! And for sure the realness. I had a relatively long labor: 36 hours, the first 24 at home. And not by choice. They told me I wasn’t progressing fast enough to be admitted into the hospital yet. I had back labor so it was ROUGHHHHH. Definitely the most painful thing of my life. I did get an epidural but not until hour 28. I would 100% suggest researching some at home pain management techniques such as breathing exercises, walking etc bc you may not be able to get an epidural right away. However, I will say now that it doesn’t phase me to think about and I would do it a million times over if I had to! I only had my husband and I in the room for most of the day. I let our parents stop in for a quick visit after I had the epidural and was pain free but not for the hard part of labor or for pushing. Those moments were very intimate and exciting as scary and just super emotional and me and my husband talk about how much it meant to be just the two of us. I do agree with other posters though that having them in the lobby is comforting. Knowing that they are there in case anything happens or you feel like you want them! My mom and sister were on stand by in the lobby! As far as pictures goes- my husband snapped a picture on his iPhone of me when they first handed me my baby and I have tears rolling down my face and it is one of my most favorite pictures ever! The fact that he took it is even sweeter. I would not have wanted a photographer there since it wouldn’t be as intimate but since the photographer is your sister I think it may not feel that way to you. Maybe suggest that she’s in the room but out of the way and she can give you and your husband all the space you need. Most hospitals encourage an hour of bonding with mom and dad before family comes in so she could snap a few “raw” pictures and then leave you all to the bonding. I think if she focuses on just taking pictures and not trying to snuggle or love on the baby herself it will make your husband feel better?! Good luck!!

  68. Maggie Fernandez
    September 12, 2018 / 8:30 pm

    Hey girl! I love reading your blog and am always looking forward to your IG posts. All i can tell you is that no matter how much you plan, things may not go you’re way. Have a plan but also have backup plans. Things will happen and you will just have to go with the flow. This came from my experience. Has a wonderful pregnancy until 33 weeks. I got superimposed preclampsia and had to deliver my baby early in an emergency c-section. His birth and the aftermath were the most trying moments in my life. Just stay positive, weed out the negativity and continue your beautiful pregnancy. We have one life and you will never get these moments back. I wish you a smooth and beautiful delivery but most of all, strength for it all.

  69. Jessica Miller
    September 12, 2018 / 8:23 pm

    I wanted the same thing, a vaginal birth and epidural and I got it the first time. Pregnant with my second and praying it goes the same way. The worst part to me was having the IV, even getting the epidural didn’t bother me as much as the IV. I didn’t want anyone else in the room so it was just me and my husband. But hate to break it to you, you’re head and your knees are in the same place so there is no missing it by standing by your head. My husband kept saying he was going to be in the “cheap seats” meaning by my head and he saw the whooooolllllle thing. It’s kind of a funny story now bc he was exasperated that he had to participate (the nurse asked him to hold my leg while she held the other one). I will say in the moment you won’t care and he won’t care.
    The nurses are really the ones that coach you and they do an amazing job! Labor and delivery nurses are amazing people I learned.
    My husband took pictures after she was born and I wish he would have taken more. You can always delete pictures but you can’t go back and retake them.

  70. Kristin
    September 12, 2018 / 8:14 pm

    Hey Amanda! New to following your blog and had to weigh in here. I’m nearly 20 weeks pregnant with my 4th and I can tell you that EVERY labor and delivery is different for every woman. You will have your own unique, beautiful birth story afterwards and, even though there may be deviations from a desired birth plan, it will all work out okay and once you hold your baby in your arms, it will NOT matter how she got there! I promise you that.
    I agree that you should try to remain in control of who is present – what goes on – in the delivery room as much as possible. Your desires may change in the moment and you NEED to have the freedom to change your mind on a whim! Sometimes, labor takes a long time and you WANT people in there to distract you. Or, you may find that you HAVE to focus on your breathing and what your body is doing to get through each contraction so you may want/need a more private experience. There is no wrong way. Either is fine but let everyone there know you must have the optiom to change gears during labor so you can do what’s right for you. I personally have had my husband, Mom, and mother-in-law present at different births. It depends on their personalities and if you feel they will respect your wishes during delivery. Ultimately, it should be your call and you should always feel comfortable about what’s going on. I’ve also delivered with OBs and a midwife so I have a lot of different experiences. Do what’s right for you!
    Lastly, don’t wait or feel bad about getting medication to help with the pain when you need to. The FIRST time you feel overwhelmed or even anxious about the level of pain, ask for drugs because it may take a while to get them. I learned this the hard way, trying to stick it out until I was desperate but then it took some time and I was very uncomfortable. Trust me; epidurals are a Godsend and help you relax and rest some while your body is still doing the work. You will enjoy your birth experience more if you feel at least somewhat in control of what’s going on, even though you really are at the mercy of the labor itself.
    Anyway, you’ll get through it and it will ALL be worth it. Hope that insight helps! Wishing you the best! Xoxo

  71. September 12, 2018 / 8:14 pm

    I was the same way as you as far as pain/labor go—don’t talk about it, don’t think about it, don’t face it until you absolutely have to! I had an epidural and loved it. As soon as I got it (at 3cm) I was able to take a 6 hour nap. They woke me up to start pushing, and 45 minutes later Henry was in the world! (Some scary stuff happened in those 45 minutes, but I won’t share and scare you—we all ended up just fine!)
    As far as looking down there or allowing my husband to look, I was absolutely against it. Until it was happening. You’re crunched up so tight to push that you can’t really avoid it, unless you actively focus on staring at the ceiling. I pass out when I see blood, I throw a fit over shots, I have to be pinned down to have blood drawn—but I looked and saw him crowning and it was actually really cool. My husband looked too—my worst nightmare!—but in that moment it didn’t bother me. He was watching his son enter the world. That’s cool, I guess. (But maybe I thought it was a cool sight to see because I was numb from the waist down 😂)
    For people in the room, we just had my husband and I. I wanted it to be a special experience for just the two of us. Our parents were in the waiting room and came in soon after the birth. But now that we’ve done one that way, I’d be totally cool with other people in the room—our moms, my bff, his sisters—whatever. But I am glad we had that first birth experience with just the two of us. (And you don’t need somebody by your feet coaching you—the doctor and nurses will be loud and awesome.) Also, something to consider so you both get what you want: you could have whoever you want in the room while you labor, up until the point of the actual delivery. Then everybody but Troy would leave so you could have those special moments together.
    As far as a photographer—I don’t feel that those moments are specifically ones that I’d personally want photographed, but on the other hand, I definitely get all misty-eyed every time I see other womens’ first-time-seeing-their-baby photos. So have your sister take the photos, and that way you you have them. Better to do it than say, “I wish I had,” right?
    You’ll do great, however you decide to do it! Now the time to go get some eyelash extensions, a fresh mani, and take ALLLL the naps until that sweet girl shows up!

  72. Anonymous
    September 12, 2018 / 8:09 pm

    You can have whoever you want in the room – for my first I had my husband and my mom and also my dad (who was an ob/gyn) I wanted him there for support – I did a drug free birth- for my second I actually was by myself because we had moved and my husband needed to have my almost 3 daughter in the hallway. And for our third it was just me and him and after I had him my husband fell asleep within 10 min on the little couch ….😂😂

    • Jennifer
      September 12, 2018 / 8:40 pm

      I never comment on anything but being an “older mom”… my baby is 14, I thought I’d chime in!
      Sometimes the best laid plans go to hell during childbirth and so plan for what you hope and deal with it as it comes! I had a long labor and needed my mom to help me through contractions. My husband was not helpful! (Mom knew what I was going through!)
      I was way to grouchy and irritable to want to see anyone while I was in labor… just mom and my husband! It hurt some family members feelings that I wasn’t up for company but I didn’t care! It’s a special (intimate) and sometimes difficult time and YOU do what YOU want!!
      I ended up having an emergency c-section and by the time I got to my room and was trying to nurse and see other family members, I was the most exhausted I’ve ever been in my entire life! I just wanted to sleep!
      As far as looking pretty during and after, if you can, go for it! Reality may not allow that!
      Love you’re being REAL!

  73. Lisa J.
    September 12, 2018 / 8:07 pm

    My birth stories are a long, long way in my rearview mirror now. But I remember them like they were yesterday. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage, sadly. But then I was blessed to find out I was pregnant with twin daughters. Al, how I wanted a natural, drug-free, “only what’s good for the babies” delivery experience!! We had a boom box with Anita Baker and Sade CDs (1993, haha!). I was going to try to do it all naturally. About two hours into it, I told my husband to shut off the ***ing boombox and began swearing at him to get me drugs. All. The. Drugs. At that point, it was too late for an epidural so they gave me Nubain. It was heaven. I had both babies vaginally. It was great. Went home after 2 days (terrified). Nursing was not great for me with the girls, however. I made it through a week and then gave up. Felt like a complete failure.

    My third pregnancy was a breeze overall – just one baby in there, a boy this time! I decided I wanted an epidural and made my wishes clear from the start. I did get one, but rather than relaxing I felt tons of strange pressure. Well, that pressure was my body going from 3 cm to 10 cm in only 30 minutes!! Pushed for maybe 45 minutes and he was out, perfect. Nursed him for a month but then got mastitis so had to give it up. That was easier the second time around—not so much guilt, just a little sadness.

    My husband also wouldn’t have wanted anyone else in the room, so I get where Troy is coming from. Neither did I. With my twins, it was a cast of thousands anyway — 2 full teams of nurses just in case things got high-risk. With my son it was intimate and laid-back. You should have whoever you want, just be sure you/they would feel comfortable if you end up swearing or yelling at them, LOL!!

    Re: pictures, there are a few with us after our girls were born. My eyes are wonky because of the narcotics. Didn’t make the Christmas card, let’s just say. But with my son, I told my girlfriend to wait until I could slap on a little makeup and comb my hair and then she took pictures. I love those. My girls were almost 6 and so happy. It’s a precious memory.

    My advice to you is to have an open mind, don’t have too many expectations and remember that in the end, you’ll end up with a beautiful baby!! I think I read somewhere that your body releases the same chemicals as found in an amnesia patient after you give birth, to help you forget the pain. You really do forget the pain, at least I have. Think of all the birth videos you’ve seen and how happy the mom is the second baby comes out. Like, literally, the baby is born and she goes from pushing and yelling to smiling and laughing. It really does happen just that quickly! I just remember the funny things and I also remember feeling like I shouldn’t have been so hard on myself (or my husband). It’s a precious time so try to take it all in!!

  74. Christine
    September 12, 2018 / 8:05 pm

    I just had my first a month ago today :). My plan was a natural birth at the hospital and I was able to stick to it. I am an American expat in France. In France you have several sessions with the midwife ahead of time to answer all questions and to practice breathing, ball techniques and ideas for your partner to help you (ie massage and pressure points). They also have you meet with the anthestiologist at 37 weeks to prep for options in case (even if you want natural). When I went into labor it was 3 in the morning so I waited until 6am to wake my hubs because I wanted him to be awake enough to be a great coach. When we arrived I was already 8cm so I thought for sure I could handle the pain natural as planned. I sat on the birthing ball, listened to my playlist, messaged with family and friends, my hubs rubbed my back etc. Unfortunately our baby refused to drop so even when I was almost fully dilated we could not get him to shift down. It was too late for me to get an epidural when it got too painful… I was in active labor at the hospital for 10hrs with contractions every 1-2 minutes for the full time. Soooo next time I am getting drugs! I will say my tearing and recovery were easy… lots if stitches but it was a clean tear and I was not in a lot of pain after. Having my husband there to keep me calm was amazing. My baby was also over 9lbs. I exercised 5-6 days a week up until the day before he was born which also helped for stanima. As for makeup, I brought it and could’ve cared less what I looked like when he came out. Those first selfie photos are amazing and even with exhaustion it looks so much more real. I wouldn’t want any staged one after labor… just skin to skin with him 💕. Best of luck! On a funny note they never gave me a gown to wear at the hospital so I delivered on the tshirt dress I threw on before heading to the hospital lol.

  75. Jennifer
    September 12, 2018 / 8:05 pm

    I am an Ob/Gyn doctor. I have delivered at least a thousand babies. I am also expecting (25 weeks now) my first baby. And I love fashion. Lol. Just a normal girl like the rest of you.

    I have seen it ALL—so beautiful vaginal deliveries that made me tear up and some scary ones where I needed therapy after. One thing you probably know is that it is all in God’s hands!! Your doctor has no control & you don’t have any control. You uterus and baby are in charge. My job as a doctor (and your doctors job) is to keep you and your baby safe. That’s it. We try to read what your baby and your body are telling us and try to keep y’all both safe. A cesarean is not a failed delivery of you are both safe at the end. But as a doc, most of us prefer vaginal deliveries because they are faster and safer!

    That being said. Take the epidural girlfriend!! If you want to go natural, do it on the second baby (that one goes faster, so you won’t even have time to change your mind if you miss that window). You’ll have time with the first baby—it takes longer. I would not recommend having a photographer there—you may be in miserable pain, bleeding, need stitches, and you and your husband should focus on holding and bonding with baby…all while you are pretty much naked in a room full of nurses/doc, etc. I will have just my husband and my mom (which is very common for most women).

    Keep the guests to a minimum after the delivery!! You will need to have your breast out every other hour to feed the baby and a nurse checking your vaginal area for swelling and bleeding—the last thing you need to worry about is ushering guests out or entertaining people between checks. Not to mention you probably will be emotionally and physically drained. Set expectations with family and friends early on so no one has their feelings hurt. That day (and week & month) is all about what YOU need to sustain the rigors of taking care of a newborn! Of course if you’re good with a room full of people, then go for it.

    I agree-stay away from google, unless you have a doctorate degree and know how to interpret what you read.

    You’ll do great!!

    P.S. what do I wear to my baby shower? What did you wear? Recommendations on where to look. Help!

  76. Erika H
    September 12, 2018 / 7:25 pm

    I just had my baby 13 days ago!
    Loved reading your journey as I just passsd those weeks myself.
    I know things are so of our own control that I had a birth in mind but ultimately released control to God that whatever happens He would watch over myself and my baby. I was induced (and received the epidural) and got all the way to 10cm dilated but my baby was in distress. I had an emergency c section. But the end goal was always the same- making sure my baby was healthy as well as myself. He arrived absolutely perfect. I think there are pros and cons to both ways to deliver.
    Good luck and sending good vibes to you and your baby!

  77. Lauren
    September 12, 2018 / 7:18 pm

    The best advice my doctor gave me was to have a birth idea not a plan- I had to be induced at 40 weeks and 5 days. Petocine started at 4am my water was broken at 8:30am and our littler girl arrived at 11:45! Ask about the epidural early, we had to plan around the anesthesiologist schedule- preferably as soon as your water breaks/or is broken! I had such a positive birth experience. I had our moms in the room while I “labored” – expecting it to last all day and it didn’t. I don’t regret that!

  78. Dalli
    September 12, 2018 / 7:17 pm

    I am all for having your mom in the room. I only had my husband and my mom and that was enough for me. When I started having contractions and was going into labor my husband was there holding my hand and being very supportive, but men are just at a loss at what to do. My mom I felt knew exactly what I was going through and knew how to help and what to say. My nurses and doctors were great but when you are pushing and screaming profanities at everyone and everything for some reason having my mom there really helped me get through it. She was my calm in the storm because she knew at the end it would all be worth it. I’m not discounting my husband being there, but there is only so much they can do.

  79. Kaylee
    September 12, 2018 / 7:14 pm

    I had a csection with my first baby so only my husband was allowed in the room. My second baby my husband, his mom and my mom were in the room and i had a vaginal birth with an epidural. And my third baby my husband, his mom, my mom and my sister were in the room and i had another vaginal birth with an epidural. I thought i didn’t want an epidural the third time but i was so exhausted which made the pain worse for me and i couldn’t do it. You do what works for you! If you want your mom in there go for it! My husband actually stood to the side the 3rd time so it was nice to have both our moms and my sister there. But the nurses and drs are also very helpful too!

  80. Megan T
    September 12, 2018 / 7:14 pm

    Go for the epidural! It felt like a pinch and then a cool sensation going up your spine.. I had my Mom and husband in the room. My Mom was holding a leg helping me while my husband was trying not to faint. My labor all went so smoothly I will probably just stick with the same plan this time around.. Good luck, you’ll do great! Just remember our bodies are programmed to do this and somehow they know exactly what to do!

    • Kim Zaunick
      September 12, 2018 / 7:31 pm

      I’m almost 6 months along and taking allll of these comments in and yours made me giggle. “And my husband was trying not to faint” hehe! So cute to me as I imagine my husband will be doing the exact same thing!! 😂

  81. Jessica
    September 12, 2018 / 7:05 pm

    So my birthplan was just like yours. Know I didn’t want a C section and wanted a vaginal birth with an epidural. What I didn’t plan on baby does what baby wants. Ha! I had an induction. It was long and tiring but for me was probably better cause I was so scared beforehand. If you want to know anything about inductions let me know.
    For me in the delivery room it was just my husband and I. I personally just didn’t want anyone else in the room with us.
    And knowing how things quickly went by it was better for us.
    I think you will know what is best for you as your delivery progresses that day.

    Wish you a happy and safe delivery!!

  82. K ann
    September 12, 2018 / 7:03 pm

    You look beautiful! With my first we had my husband, stepmom, SIL, MIL and my newborn nephew in there. My friend was also my labor nurse. I also had, randomly, a Bravo show doctor as my doctor LOL. The experience was awesome BUT it was a bit much. My second time it was just my husband and much more personal.

  83. Ashley M
    September 12, 2018 / 7:02 pm

    I find your blog refreshing and love the honesty! For me and my husband, we made all decisions together and compromised with each other which was a challenge but made us stronger. Although I was the one birthing the child I had to recognize that my husband had just as many emotions and ultimately felt a lack of control as he was simply a bystander to hold my hand and encourage me. Sadly, dads don’t get medications that help calm them. Come delivery day, we chose to allow family in and out while while laboring but when the pushing began it was just the two of us and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was our little family together and beautiful. We ended up with a last minute csection and simply took our own photos afterward. Whatever you decide it will be a lovely and memorable experience! Wishing you all the best! <3

  84. Laura
    September 12, 2018 / 7:02 pm

    Love your openness to share your experience with your readers! My advice would be to go in with what you have as a birth plan, but know that life happens and it might not go as planned and that’s okay! I wanted a vaginal birth with epidural, but developed a version of preeclampsia that altered things. The anesthesiologist denied giving an epidural due to blood clot problems and I had to have an “accidental” natural birth with no prep! The nurses and doctor were amazing and helped me through everything. I don’t think you need a doula or extra people besides medical staff to help. There were so many experienced nurses helping with everything, especially my breathing and focus. Your doctor and nurses are trained professionals so go with what they suggest to make sure you and your baby are healthy! Enjoy these last few weeks- they fly by and you’ll be holding Miller before you know it!

  85. Jessica
    September 12, 2018 / 7:01 pm

    You look great! I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with my second (first was born in May 2017). I love all the nonmaternity styles that can be worn as maternity that you post!

    I went what most people would probably say is completely old school. We didn’t find out gender, completely nature and just me and my husband in the delivery room. I’m hoping to be able to have another natural delivery. For me personally, not being in control of my body scares me more than any amount of pain. I thought that it was an intimate experience and I’m glad it was just a moment that was shared between myself and my husband. I don’t regret not having pictures during the process, it was a special memory that just the two of us share. Everyone has a different experience. There is no right or wrong way, you just have to decide what you think will be best for you and then everyone else will just have to be okay with that 😉

  86. Cameron
    September 12, 2018 / 7:01 pm

    You’re on the right track, girl! I had a plan just like yours and was actually induced on Friday (not part of the plan). The best part is that I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 7am – got there and they had to send me home to wait for a call for a bed to open up because labor and delivery was so crowded! I ended up going back in at 3pm. I tell you this because even the “planned” goes unplanned sometimes 😉

    I too was terrified of labor AND have a squeamish husband. I can honestly say that labor was NOT as painful as I had built it up in my head and the epidural was a dream.

    As for my husband, I let all of the nurses know that he had a hard time in hospitals. He did end up getting sick after my epidural – I think him seeing me all hooked up on a hospital bed and in pain got to him. When it came time to push, I had an angel nurse that helped me through the whole thing. She made my husband sit (so he wouldn’t pass out) and covered as much of the scary part as she could so that he couldn’t see anything. She and I pushed together and my sweet husband cheered from the sidelines for encouragement.

    You’ll get through it and won’t be able to imagine life before sweet Miller. Xoxo

  87. Rachel
    September 12, 2018 / 6:59 pm

    4 babies – all the same birth plan! Labor as long as possible without then get the good stuff! Number two came so fast we barely made it to the delivery room – checked in hospital at 6:52 she was born at 7:07! I also knew I didn’t want anyone in there besides my husband – and the slew of nurses and the doc! It’s such an emotional moment – the last thing I needed or wanted was anyone taking the joy from me and my husband! And the birth of #4 was just as emotional and special as #1! I also didn’t want anyone other than the doc telling me what to do – and thankfully the hubs was on mars with that too. He’s pretty squeemish but was able to watch all 4 and was just Amazed and emotional as ever! Do what’s best for YOU!!

    • Rachel
      September 12, 2018 / 8:39 pm

      Oh – and forget the birth plan – no one ever tells you what to expect AFTeR!! Your swollen beyond recognition and feel like your insides are going to fall out when you use the bathroom – which they insist you do! If you have a vaginal delivery they will come in and press on your abdomen every so often and that shit HURTS!! Be prepared for the most uncomfortable period of your life! Stock up on pads – I loathed the thick ones the hospital provided so I made sure I had the extra long and absorbent ones in my bag. Also, while they will provide you with some extremely sexy mesh panties, make sure you have a few pair that are comfy of your own… I opted for black and dark colors as well, you get the idea! If you do need stitches, they will encourage a sitz bath and it feels amazing. They should also give you a squeeze bottle to spray yourself clean with after using the bathroom as your not going to want to wipe anything! And get some Dermoplast!! It’s a pan relieving spray that feels amazing sprayed down there!!

  88. Zaide Cabezuela
    September 12, 2018 / 6:59 pm

    No one told me what labor pains felt like but it’s just like menstrual cramps. I was expecting something more sinister because they’re called “labor pains”. But it’s just cramps that do get worse and worse and worse. I did get an epidural and best thing ever. But this was my experience and I know others have different ones.
    I also did not want to see what was coming out from down there…hehe…but the nurses kept harassing me about having a mirror down there. Mind you, I had been in labor for 36 hours and was exhausted. My husband had to stress to them not to ask again.
    Each labor is different. I had two and my second was less dramatic then the first. Best of luck and do what makes you feel good. Xoxo

  89. Jennifer Vallone
    September 12, 2018 / 6:58 pm

    I had an elective C-section, and can’t say how happy I am that I did so. Both my husband and my parents were able to schedule their flights so that they were here for my daughter’s birth. I didn’t have any of the pain “down there”, and I was able to avoid a lot of the anxieties I had regarding labor. Most importantly, I got a very healthy, beautiful baby girl out of it! Hope all goes well for you, as well, Amanda, and congrats!!

  90. Emily
    September 12, 2018 / 6:57 pm

    Motherhood is far in the future for me, but my mom told me it was just her and my dad in the room for each of us. This was before photographing the experience was a thing, but she thinks it’s a special moment between the parents without extra excited hands around baby. My grandmother was close by if my mom needed her and took pictures very soon after! My best friend delivered her daughter all natural (not really on purpose, took 28 minutes from time of arrival at hospital and *hello baby*) but my mom said “give me all the drugs” because she was anxious. The consensus is that any way you decide is good and right for YOU, the goal overall is for baby to end up in your arms happy and healthy. 🙂 My hope for you is that whatever you decide goes smoothly and you are able to enjoy every moment!

  91. Tammy Baxter
    September 12, 2018 / 6:56 pm

    I had my Mom with me and she was wonderful. She calmed my spirit! I had epidurals and that work for me for the most part. Remember that you are unique and this is your experience. Don’t let the opinions of others get in your head. I have three daughters and they are my heart.

  92. September 12, 2018 / 6:46 pm

    My biggest regret is that I didn’t have someone film either of my births. It is such a surreal experience, and you have so much adrenaline going that you kind of forget what happened after. I wish I had a better memory of the first time I met my babes! Also, YOU are the one pushing out a child. YOU can have anyone in there that makes it a little easier on you. I wished my mom was there but she’s kind of squeamish. I was pleasantly surprised at how much husband stepped up during my c-section (with my first) but with my second (natural) my midwife was my best friend. There are so many people in and out either way that you really won’t notice a few others. And I’m also a big baby when it comes to pain but thought labor was amazing! It is a completely different kind of “pain”. Good luck Mama!

  93. Jessi Strull
    September 12, 2018 / 6:34 pm

    I appreciate the realness. I am 28 weeks and any “real” insight into someone else’s pregnancy has been helpful. Even if sometimes it only justifies that I am not the only one feeling one way. Pregnancy is tough and it’s nice to have a community to share and empathize with others going through the same journey! I’m with you on having no clue about a birth plan beyond an epidural and praying for vaginal! I think I am deciding last minute on having my mother in the room. It’s a high possibility I go into a panic during that time and either need everyone around me helping to soothe me, or I will become that crazy pregnant girl screaming get out to everyone and yelling at my husband for doing this to me!

  94. Kathy
    September 12, 2018 / 5:06 pm

    With my first child I decided to have a natural birth. (stupid, stupid, stupid) I awoke in labor about 4:00 AM, took a shower, shaved my legs (of course!) and made a pot of decaf. I called my doc (after the office opened) and he told me to come into the office. My husband wasn’t happy that he may have to spend an entire day waiting around. At the office my doctor confirmed that I was indeed in labor. I then went across the street to the hospital. My doc met me there and decided he would rupture my membrane to speed up labor. Up until then I thought this labor was a snap! The minute he broke my water I had a contraction that I thought might kill me! The contractions were 2 minutes apart and hurt like hell. I would look at the clock and just knew I would die with the next contraction! Seriously! I’m not a baby when it comes to pain, but this was unreal. When my doctor broke my water he told me there was meconium in my water and if I did not deliver soon he would need to do a c-section. My immediate reaction was let’s do this now! Just get this baby out of me. I had a general anesthetic, my husband was in the surgery with me, and when I woke up I had a beautiful baby boy! Perfectly perfect. I went home about 2 days later and took care of my son without any help. Some of the best memories of my life. I had a daughter 17 months later and opted for a c-section. Again a beautiful baby girl, went home and took care of two babies without help. C-sections are not awful. To me they’re the only way to have a baby. So, whatever way your baby needs to come into this world, do not worry. Just get all of the meds you can get!

  95. Courtney
    September 12, 2018 / 4:52 pm

    Longtime reader here. I love your blog and your honesty! Keep it coming!! Excited for the arrival of baby Miller. Wishing you a smooth and safe delivery! Xx

  96. Sara
    September 12, 2018 / 4:46 pm

    Girl! Be selfish on this one we do all the work and in the end while this is an intimate moment of the two of you, you’re the one that will need all the support and coaching you can get . If he really is going to be that nervous he won’t even notice your sister taking pictures and will probably be thankful your mom is there so he can have his moments but you still have a steady support system there with you (for the both of you!). Congratulations and most importantly do whatever feels right for YOU.

  97. September 12, 2018 / 4:33 pm

    I didn’t have a birth plan so to say I just had birth ‘wishes’. Things that I wanted if there weren’t circumstances keeping me from them. I’m going to be 100% honest with you. If your husband is squeamish about blood then I would most definitely have someone in the room that can coach/calm you. My husband is good at stuff like that, which worked out because my nurse was worthless. She sat at a table and did paperwork the entire time. Also, nothing is set in stone. You can try just you and him and have someone out in the waiting room if need be or vise versa. It was just me and my husband. I didn’t have an issue with my mom being there but I knew if she was there then my MIL would but all upset she wants in the room. To avoid drama I had both off them in the room during labor and sent them away for the pushing part. And if you don’t feel comfortable telling someone to get out of the room, most nurses will make some excuse up why they have to leave for you. Good luck!!

  98. Shannon
    September 12, 2018 / 4:31 pm

    I’m almost 20 week’s pregnant and starting to think of a birth plan too! Labor slightly freaks me out but then I just think EVERY mother has gone through it and if they can do it I can. Also we are lucky to be able to have awesome Drs and epidurals, back in the day they didn’t get any of that haha My husband passes out when he sees blood so I think I am more concerned about him ha! He will definitely stay by my head and plan on having my mom in there as well. I also want my husband to photograph some and hopefully that may take his mind off of the blood and such since he’s a photographer. He is the type to say you’re the one pushing the baby out so you do whatever you want. I definitely think you should have the last say of who you want in there for support and totally not weird to want pictures! We as moms want to capture these amazing moments and this is probably the most amazing moment we’ll experience!! I photographed my nephews birth and the pictures are just amazing! Good luck!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeat Soles

  99. Kathy L
    September 12, 2018 / 4:17 pm

    You look beautiful in each monthly picture during pregnancy! I am fairly new to your blog, and I find your frankness and honesty refreshing. If you are a planner, I think having a birth plan is a good idea as long as you aren’t the kind of person that will freak out if anything doesn’t go exactly as “planned”. My suggestion regarding who will be in the birthing room with you, is to keep your mom and sister close by, and see how you feel during the labor process. Sometimes what we think we want changes by the moment while you are in the midst of laboring. I also think that while your husband should be able to express what he wants, that he should ultimately defer to your needs and desires during labor and delivery. I wish for you a safe and beautiful experience, and a sweet, healthy baby!

    • September 12, 2018 / 4:28 pm

      Thank you so much! This was so well said! I love the idea and waiting to see how I feel when it comes to the delivery! thanks so much for taking the time to comment! xox Amanda

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