Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


  1. Glenys

    Thanks for the heads up ! Baby is coming in May so i got time to find a game plan for sleeping since I’m planning to BF. I read a comment that had good suggestions of stuff hubby can do to help me while breastfeeding at night.
    Thank you so much !!!

  2. Andrea S

    Please, keep these posts coming! My daughter is 3 and I am past this period, but it would have helped me tremendously if I would have had similar blogs to read! People who are honest about this season of life are essential!!! Thank you!!! 🤗

  3. Audrey A.

    Thanks for being so real about your experience! It’s all very relatable, except I did want to be held by my husband, but couldn’t be! Our baby would sleep in something similar to a dock-a-tot in between us, so I felt so isolated and longed for any type of re-assuring touch or cuddle. Especially because I was dealing with severe pain from extreme engorgement in addition to normal birth recovery pain. The pain from my boobs made it so I could only lie on my back, slightly elevated with three pillows behind me, so cuddling or anything remotely hug-like was not an option. & The lack-of-sleep irritation is so real!! We’re thinking about trying for a second, but I am a bit terrified to subject myself to the newborn days again, plus with a toddler to care for as well!

  4. Tresa

    While my experience was a little different than yours…I was a single mom…some feelings are the same. A couple of food for thought items, formula is not the anti-Christ. My milk production was low and I always had to supplement with formula even from the beginning, and after a few months my son preferred the formula, so I only breastfed for about 3-4 months…he’s a healthy, incredibly bright and happy teenaged boy now…my point, he survived on formula…if breastfeeding is a monster stress for the sheer time consuming aspect and lack of sleep, cut yourself a break and do what is good for you…a happy mom is so much more important for your baby than any amount of breast milk…of course talk it over with your hubs and physician, but formula was a complete life saver for me. Also, it took some time to find our groove, but hubs and I get one date night a month… they are rough-in scheduled in January…it gets on our calendar and we schedule around it…it’s a priority…so we treat it as such…don’t let mom guilt be a thing for you…other family and friends want to help you and want time with your sweet girl…let them! For your sake, Miller’s sake, and your tribe’s sake…and I vote start this early and then it’s just a way of life, not a big traumatic event when it finally happens. ❤️

  5. G

    Thank you for your honesty! As soon to be new parents, this helps me understand the road ahead.

  6. Leslie

    I love how honest and candid you are about relationships and motherhood. It’s really refreshing with all of the “perfect” bloggers who lead “perfect” lives out there. I became a first time mom in December 2016 and I stumbled upon your insta and blog sometime around then when I was in the throes of adjusting to life with a newborn. I think you sum up new parenthood so accurately. Miller is beautiful and will grow up to be a pretty cool kid with a mom like you. Please keep doing what you’re doing!

  7. Anonymous

    I’m so glad you’re talking about this. 20+ yrs ago no one & I mean NO one talked about these things… everyone looked at me like I was CRA-CRA because I was sad. Sad that my husband and my relationship was over as we knew it.

    P.S. Your doing better than me… I wanted to take her (our newborn) back! She’s now 23 and the love of my life… but, you are right in the fact that having a baby is completely life changing! The first couple months are brutal… hang in there and remember EVERYONE has been there even if they pretend they haven’t! Thanx for sharing.

  8. Anonymous

    I think this is a very honest post. I CAN tell you as someone who has been through two kids, and now I have TEENS… it will get so much easier! ( before it gets hard again in a different way! Lol)
    I found that my husband changing diapers and then putting baby beside me to nurse and keeping baby in a basket by our bed made it seem a little easier? Other than that… all I can say is I remember literally falling asleep standing up folding laundry and waking up with my face in a pile of laundry! You will get through this and have many happy memories!💕

  9. Laura

    All the same things happened to me with my fist baby 3 years ago! It’s so normal!
    It gets better, but yes right now is CRAZY hard. Balance will come back with time, but it won’t ever be the same. And that’s ok, it we wanted life or ourselves to stay the same we wouldn’t have families right? I can say who I’ve become as a mom is a better, stronger and Much more patient person! It’s so worth it.
    You are broken, to be transformed and made new!

  10. Alli

    Very relatable!! I have a 6 month old and like what your sister has probably told you, time heals so much!!! After month one, all of those feelings slow down. You still don’t sleep but for some reason you adjust and it’s a new norm. I hate to say it, but I still want to throw things at my husband at night when I’m awake feeding- ha that doesn’t go away.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re like a badass machine right now. You grew and pushed a baby out, you’re the primary food factory, soother, caregiver and everything else! Get someone to help clean your house once a week for a few months- ain’t no shame!!

    The focus is on Miller right now, it will shift back to you and your husband- don’t put more pressure there!

  11. Courtney

    I am so glad you wrote this. I could have written this myself. I had a baby in August and I felt crazy for thinking these thoughts. I’m so glad I’m not alone. Now that everyone is in a semi rhythm at month 3 things are looking up with my husband (different for sure) but less snapping and more cuddling ha. I have been telling my girlfriends to give them a heads up bc this is definitely one of those things no one tells you.

  12. Cerise

    YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD! I have a four month old now and I feel the exact same way. It is SO HARD and there is nothing that I think could have prepared me. I am so glad you are being real and honest about everything, because so often we only see the good parts. I think sometimes we, as women, have a hard time being vulnerable. I am one of the last in my group of friends to have a baby, and I didn’t realize how many of my friends had the same struggles, because nobody talked about it, nobody warned me! Sometimes just knowing that others are going through the same struggles can make all the difference – thank you so much for sharing! The resentment surrounding sleep is so real. Still waiting for my little one to sleep through the night, about to start sleep training…I keep hearing there is a light at the end of the tunnel! My husband keeps asking me what I want for Christmas – is “sleep” an option?!

    Miller is the sweetest! Thank you again, and from one mom to another, GOOD LUCK! YOU’VE GOT THIS!


15 Gifts for Him

15 gifts for him

Here are 15 gifts for him that you can’t do wrong on:

1.Apple Watch Series 4 + GPS 44mm. Troy and I just got these for each other for Christmas this year and they came in last week! WHY did we wait so long? We are obsessed! We use the new walkie talkie feature all the time and love that we don’t always have to have our phone on us now! He uses the fitness and sleep apps and I love using the timer when I am nursing. I can also add groceries and share the list and answer emails super fast from my watch!

2.DJI Mavic. Apparently (according to Troy) this is the coolest drone out there right now because you can collapse it for an easy fit into any bag you are carrying! The one he has already is just too big and bulky and adds on too much stress to bring it on vacations.

3.Kershaw pocket knife. My dad gave this to Troy for Christmas a few years back and he says it is his favorite knife. Plus, the $16 price tag doesn’t hurt!

4.Under Armour Joggers. Troy’s favorite pair of joggers that he now has in 3 colors! He likes that the material is thick but not fleece. He works out in them and wears them around the house to lounge. Have you seen your man in joggers yet? Swoon! I guess it would be a great gift for your brother too!

5. Patagonia Fleece Pullover. You can never go wrong with gifting Patagonia anything! This fleece pullover is under $60 and comes in a few different colors.

6. Patagonia Puffer. Troy has this puffer in this exact color (comes in like 8 colors if you don’t like this one!) I wasn’t too fond of the color at first but it has really grown on me because it is so different! This jacket is perfect if he lives in a warmer climate.

7.Chelsea Boots. Does he need a new pair of boots that will go with everything? These are on sale and I love the white sole. Troy has some boots with white soles and they look so good on!

8. Bose Noise Masking Sleepbuds. These are perfect for the traveler! They are made entirely to help you sleep! They even come with a few white noise sounds!

9.Mizzen + Main Dress Shirt. Troy ONLY wears this brand period. I can’t even count how many of these he has. They are made with performance fabric so the guys don’t sweat through them like regular shirts. They can also be machine washed and they don’t wrinkle so they are GREAT for travel! You can also try the flannel Troy is wearing in the photos below or a henley (Troy owns and is obsessed with THIS ONE!)

10. Dop Kit. This rugged looking dop kit is only $17! I feel like guys always wear theirs out and need a replacement! Etsy also has some great leather dop kits that you can monogram… but you better order those asap to have them in time!

11. Money Clip Wallet. Troy has a wallet just like this and I always something is going to fall out but nope, never does. He claims he will only use money clips from now on! Men are weird! If your brother/dad/boyfriend/hubby is the same way, grab this really nice leather wallet! You can also have it monogrammed for $10.

12. Nike Tennis Shoes. Is your husband constantly walking into Nike to see what new tennis shoes they have? Troy does that every time we are at the mall, but never buys anything for himself! He has been eyeing these and they are under $100!

13. Duffle Bag. This duffle is great if he likes to travel or does a lot of night/weekend trips! He will love the scuba material and Dagne Dover is an amazing brand! You can get him THIS slightly smaller duffle if you think he will just use one for the gym.

14. Temperature Regulating Coffee Mug. This one is for the coffee lover! How cool is this Ember mug? It regulates the temperature of the coffee so he will never have to drink cold coffee again! Yes please!

15.The Bucket List Book. Confession: I just bought this and it comes in on Saturday haha! Troy and I are so excited! It has 100 trips (small and large) that you should add to your bucket list! I can’t wait to see if we have done any of them already and which ones we want to add to our lists asap!

Things We Weren’t Prepared For When We Became Parents:

the effects that a newborn has on parents

gift ideas for him
christmas gifts for him
the miller affect wearing plaid loft poncho
gifts for him
how a baby changes the relationship with your spouse
15 gifts for him this Christmas
the miller affect husband wearing mizzen + main flannel shirt
the miller affect talking about how a baby affects your marriage
the miller affect wearing a reversible loft poncho

Troy and I had no idea what we were in for when we became parents. We had always heard ‘it changes everything’, and we thought we knew what that meant. Boy were we wrong. It changes everything in your life, sure, but the amount of change in your relationship is drastic.

We lived in an alternate universe thinking that a baby wouldn’t affect us. I think Troy worried about it but I always brushed it off. I thought nothing could change what we had going. I am definitely back in reality now.

-The sleep depravation is the worst. It makes you cranky and moody and you will find yourselves snapping at each other, and at the baby. The one thing you need when you have a newborn is patience and getting little to no sleep does not help with your patience skills.

There is also a lot of resentment that grows with the whole sleep thing. HE WILL ALWAYS get more sleep than you if you are nursing. I don’t understand how he sleeps through it all. I want to throw something. We have tried to find ways to allow me to get at least 4-5 hours at one time and it is still really hard. I wake up in the middle of it and have to pump anyway. And then he sleeps in until 9am and gets his full 7 hour stretch. It is SO HARD.

There is no reason to be mad though. He can’t help it. It is YOU that the baby needs all night, not him.

-Personal space… what’s that? Sure, the dr tells you no sex for 6 weeks (and thank GOD!) I couldn’t even imagine… Buttt what they don’t tell you is that you won’t really want to be touched by your spouse period. When Troy hugs me and holds me there for too long I start mentally and physically freaking out. Or when he hangs on me or grabs at me.. ugh. WHY?

My sister explains it like this: You are at your baby’s beck and call. You have to feed her on demand and be there whenever she needs you. You aren’t really in control of your own body. So, when your spouse acts like he needs you too it is just too much. You just need your own space. It could also have a lot to do with hormones!

-You lose your identity. Stay with me here.. When you have a newborn your life revolves around that baby. So, everything you did pre baby is basically gone. You are either too tired or you just don’t have time to do the things that used to make you happy. Sure, this is time sensitive. Once the baby gets older you can get some of your old self back. But for now that person is gone. You are a new person: a mom. Troy and I used to do a lot of things together as a couple that made us grow stronger. We are unable to do those things now. We have lost our identities and the identity of our relationship. We are working at finding our way back to those people!

-Alone time together is gone. For now. Troy and I get 40 minutes of alone time a day and have to make a point to get that. That is ONE of our favorite shows on Netflix and then it is time for bed for me because I have a sleepless night ahead. During the day we are constantly feeding the baby, washing the baby stuff, cleaning the house, working outside, working on our businesses, etc. There is NO TIME to spend together. We can’t even really go to dinner together or to the store together right now unless someone is watching Miller at home. It is flu season and the dr is pretty skeptical about taking the baby out when it isn’t necessary! We don’t want to risk anything over a meal anyway.

-Free Time. You have ZERO free time. When you do sit down for a second you feel guilty because there is so much to be done. In the morning you will feel so optimistic and list out all of the things you are going to get done. By the end of the day you are exhausted and you can’t seem to remember ANYTHING you actually got done. Everything you said you were going to do that morning still needs to be done! Tonight I was feeding Miller on the couch and Troy sat down and was talking to me and he was like crap, why am I just sitting here. I had to tell him he worked all day and deserved a break! This ties into the time together. When you have 0 free time you have 0 time to spend with each other… even to sit and chat while you are nursing.

Don’t get me wrong. Troy and I haven’t lost any of our love for each other. In fact, seeing him as a father has made me love him even more. She is such a daddy’s girl already. She follows his every move (makes me a little jealous) and the way they play together makes my heart want to burst!

She is everything to us and we are obsessed with her. She is 100% worth anything Troy and I are going through, but I just wanted to warn you guys so that you can also be prepared. You can talk to your husbands about these things ahead of time and get a game plan going. What will your sleep schedule look like? How can he help you get more? Talk to him about your personal space. Find a way to keep doing something that makes you YOU at least once a day (is that going for a run, meeting a friend for lunch, going to work?) And lastly build a plan on how you can make time for each other from the very start. Hire a nanny before the baby comes. Build in a network of people you can trust to watch the baby so that you guys can get away (even if it means a 30 min Target run!)

Maybe I am alone here? Are these just things Troy and I are going through and no one else?

Our Outfits






Lipstick (Ruby Pop)





Let me know in a comment below!

xox Amanda

Photos by Adria Lea

XO Amanda
November 30, 2018 Outfits

15 Gifts for Him

From the Gram


powered by chloédigital